DARE I ASK but what MOVIE would YOU like to see REMADE?
April 20th 2007 00:59
It’s a travesty, a crime, a horror upon horrors. Horror movies are being raped, plundered and pillaged. Right now it is worse than it’s ever been. No other genre has been treated quite the way the horror movie is being treated in this current climate of un-invention.
I’m talking about the dreaded remake.
Before I go on a further diatribe, I must admit there are exceptions to the rule (aren’t there always?). But these are far and few between. One of my early posts lamented the savage ravaging of respected horror movies, in particular many “untouchable” cult classics, such as Psycho (1960), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), The Omen (1976) and Dawn of the Dead (1978).
Admittedly Zack Snyder’s new take on Dawn of the Dead was actually bloody good, and David Cronenberg’s version of The Fly (1986) is superlative. But rare breeds of beast they are! Okay, so I thoroughly enjoyed the remake of The Hills Have Eyes (2005) too (I know a lot of people will disagree with me there. Whatever.)
Night of the Living Dead (1968), The Wicker Man (1973), The Amityville Horror (1979), When a Stranger Calls (1979), The Fog (1981) ... All classics given the lame makeover, or close to it, and yet the remake list goes on.
But mark my words; the day will come when most of our firm favourite horror films will have been cloned in one disturbing way or the other. Whether it’s a straight shot-for-shot remake like Psycho (1998) and The Omen (2006) or a re-imagining/re-envisioning such as Dawn of the Dead (2004) and the upcoming Halloween (due for release next year), the powers that be will get their dirty grubby little mitts on the rights and you can guarantee a new version which will be a lesser film than the original movie.
Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures is already working on a new script for a remake of his own The Evil Dead (1982). There’s Rob Zombie’s prequel-cum-remake of Halloween (1978), which supposedly John Carpenter has given his blessing too (say wha…?!) Does that mean we are to assume Carpenter may very well sell his soul and allow The Thing (1982) to be remade as well?! Okay, okay, so it’s a remake already, but it is unique in that it is actually closer to the original source material than the B-movie 50s version.
Alongside Halloween another of my all-time favourite horror movies Romero's Day of the Dead (1985) has been remade! I now have grave fears for other such seminal works as The Exorcist (1973), Suspiria (1977), Phantasm (1978), Alien (1979), An American Werewolf in London (1981), Videodrome (1982) or Scanners (1983), Re-Animator (1985) …
(It'll start getting really unnerving when the sequels start to be remade ... !)
Looking at it objectively this remaking business has been happening for decades. I’m just feeling the pinch particularly now because of the age I am. Look at original classics such as Frankenstein (1931), Dracula (1931), The Phantom of the Opera (1925) and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931). They’ve been remade or re-envisioned so many times one loses count, the poor bastards.
Where does one draw the line? I guess there is no line to be drawn. When in creative turmoil simply pay “homage” to the past, hell, if it worked once, twice, three times, why not work it again? It seems in the dark world of horror there’s no such thing as flogging a dead horse. It must be an undead equus, I should’ve known!
Which brings me to the dreaded question I originally posed: what movie would you like to see remade? Well, I doubt I’d like to see any remade, but if I had to choose one …
A lesser known British flick called Xtro (1982). This was a low-budget fusion of elements; science fiction, melodrama, lurid phantasmagoria and ghoulish horror. It had perverse potential, but has dated something chronic. In the hands of the right director (Cronenberg?) and special effects team (KNB?), I’m sure they would have a field day.
* image of Hollywood sign courtesy of www.frankleftyrosenthal.com
other images on this page were taken from the following wikipedia pages:
The Fog (2005), Psycho (1998), Halloween (2007), Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and Xtro
They are licensed under the GNU Free Document License
Before I go on a further diatribe, I must admit there are exceptions to the rule (aren’t there always?). But these are far and few between. One of my early posts lamented the savage ravaging of respected horror movies, in particular many “untouchable” cult classics, such as Psycho (1960), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), The Omen (1976) and Dawn of the Dead (1978).
Night of the Living Dead (1968), The Wicker Man (1973), The Amityville Horror (1979), When a Stranger Calls (1979), The Fog (1981) ... All classics given the lame makeover, or close to it, and yet the remake list goes on.
Alongside Halloween another of my all-time favourite horror movies Romero's Day of the Dead (1985) has been remade! I now have grave fears for other such seminal works as The Exorcist (1973), Suspiria (1977), Phantasm (1978), Alien (1979), An American Werewolf in London (1981), Videodrome (1982) or Scanners (1983), Re-Animator (1985) …
(It'll start getting really unnerving when the sequels start to be remade ... !)
Where does one draw the line? I guess there is no line to be drawn. When in creative turmoil simply pay “homage” to the past, hell, if it worked once, twice, three times, why not work it again? It seems in the dark world of horror there’s no such thing as flogging a dead horse. It must be an undead equus, I should’ve known!
A lesser known British flick called Xtro (1982). This was a low-budget fusion of elements; science fiction, melodrama, lurid phantasmagoria and ghoulish horror. It had perverse potential, but has dated something chronic. In the hands of the right director (Cronenberg?) and special effects team (KNB?), I’m sure they would have a field day.
* image of Hollywood sign courtesy of www.frankleftyrosenthal.com
other images on this page were taken from the following wikipedia pages:
The Fog (2005), Psycho (1998), Halloween (2007), Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and Xtro
They are licensed under the GNU Free Document License
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Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
If you absolutely have no choice and must do a cover version at least choose something that sucked originally but had potential to be great.
(Im thinking of several Stephen King films right now)
As you said there are exceptions to the rule, like John Carpenter's chilling remake of The Thing or Glen Morgan's Willard, both solid reworks done with style.
Now to answer the question Ive been trying to avoid, what would I remake with a gun pointed to my head....(Xtro was a nice choice), sticking with the same theme how about a reworking of Leviathan, I always liked the premise but the film disappointed.....more recently Underworld absolutely sucked but I thought the werewolves vs Vampires concept could work in the right hands.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I wish they'd stop doing remakes. I just know that one day there's going to be a remake of Alien. And I'm going to be a very unhappy camper when that happens!
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Not a fan of remakes but I guess people run out of ideas in Hollyweird...if it ain't broke it's box office!
Lately the trend is magician movies.
I refuse to see 'The Wicker Man' remake. I had no idea this existed. I'm disgusted.
The only film that comes to mind is...'Orca'!!
I do not know why!
Is this question/post limited to horror films?
Because I'd really like 'Modesty Blaise' remade.
Kitsch and terrible movie was made around '62(?) (Monica Vitti, Terence Stamp and Dirk Bogarde) and then recently Tarantino remade it but....it was awful.
Also...'Revenge of the Sith'...
Comment by Damo
Someone has to do it.
'The Spiral Staircase' ruined in the 70's remake but has plenty of scope for a modern psychological thiller.
'Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy' Do it right this time. The movie sucked and blowed at the same time.
'A real version of War of the Worlds' None of this contemporary setting crap. Follow the story dickheads, follow the story!
'Terminator 3' scrap the whole script and start again.
'It came from Outerspace' Coldwar fear mongering can easily fit post 9-11 fear mongering.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Believe it or not, I think Battlefield Earth should be remade. The book is actually quite gripping (as far as childish sci-fi goes) and there's a lot of potential for satire and comedy that was lost in the John Travolta adaptation.
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
*surredipidous timing on this fly-by*
Battlefield Earth was enourmously underacted and lost in translation completely... It'd be a worthy re-make to look forward to.
Yep, that would be good...
Lilla ...
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Kylie .... the day will come. We will weep together.
Dusk, go Orca!!! yeah!!! Someone do it now!!
Damo, OMG! Freaks! YESSSSS!!! Two words: David Lynch.
Cibby, yeah Lifeforce had so much potential ... Colin Wilson is deep dark stuff. Ramp up the weird nudity fer sure!
Cheers everyone! And have a deep dark glorious weekend!
Comment by David
I'd remake a film called 'Denise Rings Up' ...
because its premise was 'This is the communication age, yet no-one communicates any more' ...
That alone was enough for me to go and see it ... (And I don't go out very often for anything or anyone ...
I was so disappointed in its execution ... but the premise is brilliant ...
And when I say remake?
I wouldn't even give a thought to the film they made ... I'd start from scratch ...
I'm good at that ... I've had to do it heaps of time in life ...
Just take the premise and go berserk on it ...
Lajos Egri says that a film is defined by its premise and if you can prove the premise in every scene? You will have a great film (unless the producers, director and actors fuck it up that is *
David ...
Comment by Damo
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by David
Excuse me for a moment ...
Damo ?
Your sense of humour is so sick .... I get off on it ...
David ...
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Damo, the movie poster for Weir's film is GOLD. Didn't like the film when I saw it years ago.
David ... premise. I love that word. So much, and yet so little. Damn, I think you and I - over a few beers and bourbon - could seriously nut out a bloody good premise.
Comment by Anonymous
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Bryn... did you ever do a post on "Driller Killer?" I watched it on World Movies a few months back, and I enjoyed it. Some parts reminded me of American Psycho.
Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
Personally, I was a remake of Crossroads. Yeah, the Britney Spears movie. But in the remake, she ends up getting tortured and brutally murdered. How can that movie go wrong?
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
nothing worse than a remake...and a Bad remake at that! Must they bastardize every good ole horror flick? Boggles the mind...But Great Post..loved your commentary..
Take care,
Nick
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
Dusk beat me to my other suggestion
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
How about The Amityville Horror? They could have done so much more with the basic premise..plus it SUCKED.
Or that other 70s movie about kids getting stalked by the psychpathic circus freak when they snuck into the House of Horrors ride in the carnival? (I think that's what it's called--House of Horrors)--that could be SO scary in the right hands....
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Miswanderlust ... haven't heard of that flick!
Eighteen ... The Blob was remade in the late 80s ... you wanna see it done again?
Someone ... can't say I'm too enthused about the Evil Dead being remade ... the original commands a certain chutzpah, which will be hard to re-capture.
Armenta ... yeah, with you there, but Sssss! could be good, mind you we've got enough snake flicks, haven't we?
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
We have enough snake flicks (pun recognised) ..the question is, do we have enough *good* snake flicks?
On the other hand, I'm not so nuts on fostering fear of animals in flicks anymore, though--at least not of sharks or snakes.
Poor bastards are needlessly killed by the hundreds down here, due to fear and ignorance.
Now cockroaches--that's a different story!
Hey Bryn and J.D.--remember the first "Creepshow"--the creation of that trio of titans Stephen King, George Romero, and Tom Savini? (The cockroaches got me going on that)....I'm just going to come right out and admit that I really liked it. It was campy and comic-bookish, and I loved the cast.
Creepshow 2--different story.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
As for "They're Creeping Up On You" .... I have a pathological loathing of cockroaches .... Creepshow 2 was rather lame, although "The Raft" is one of Stephen King's best short stories!
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
"The Crate"--Savini called that monster "Fluffy", haha!
Great line from there too; "Get out here right now or you'll be wearing your balls for earrings!!"
(Adrienne Barbeau just before Fluffy got her)
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile