What MOVIE would you REMAKE?
February 12th 2009 06:20
As the steady stream of remakes/re-envisionings, reboots/retakes, re-jigs ... re-whatever, begin to overwhelm the movie market I decided to play Devil’s advocate and pose the question: What movie would you like to see remade and which director would you have at the helm? Keep in mind I’m referring to the “nightmare” criteria I base my blog on.
Here are five movies that were released more than twenty-five years ago, which is decent enough gap between versions. These five movies were all relatively low-budget and were considered trashy at the time, and are generally considered trashy now. A couple of these are downright terrible.
However, the subject matter and/or premise remain intriguing, even topical. With the right director on board and with a decent budget, cast and crew these movies could kick ass if they were remade.
I’ve included the original synopsis, year of production, and director, and offered my choice for remake director. Assume the remakes would be substantially budgeted, but not over-produced. As for cast, I’ve left that up in the air.
4D Man (1959) Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.
Synopsis: Two brothers, scientists Scott and Tony Nelson, develop an amplifier that enables a person to enter a 4th dimensional state, allowing the person to pass through any object. Scott experiments on himself and discovers that each time he passes through something he ages rapidly. He begins killing people, sucking out their life energies and regaining his youth as a result. I
Remake director: John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing)
Damnation Alley (1977) Directed by Jack Smight
Synopsis: A small group of survivors at a military installation who managed to survive a nuclear holocaust attempt to drive across the desolate wasteland in a specially designed vehicle to where they hope more survivors are living. Along the way freakish weather, mutated plant and animal life - including a plague of cockroaches – make their mission dangerous and deadly.
Remake director: Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, The Descent)
Prophecy (1979) Directed by John Frankenheimer
Synopsis: A log company's toxic waste mutates the environment, creating a giant killer bear-monster. Driven mad from the poisonous waters, the savage beast spreads terror and death across the Maine countryside.
Remake director: Greg Mclean (Wolf Creek, Rogue)
The Island (1980) Directed by Michael Ritchie
Synopsis: A vicious band of modern day pirates is raiding vacationing yachts in the Caribbean. A reporter and his son investigate the mystery of the disappearing boats and come across the murderous raiders who decide to induct them into their tribe.
Re-titled: Atoll (due to recent Michael Bay sci-fi actioner The Island)
Remake director: Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel: Part II)
Evilspeak (1981) Directed by Eric Weston
Synopsis: An orphan and social outcast at a military academy is constantly bullied and humiliated by his colleagues, teachers, and even the reverend. When the cadet finds a book of black mass that belonged to an evil medieval priest, he uses his computer to conjure Satan and his demon boars to wreak diabolical havoc on his harassers.
Remake director: Takashi Miike (Audition, Imprint)
However, the subject matter and/or premise remain intriguing, even topical. With the right director on board and with a decent budget, cast and crew these movies could kick ass if they were remade.
4D Man (1959) Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.
Synopsis: Two brothers, scientists Scott and Tony Nelson, develop an amplifier that enables a person to enter a 4th dimensional state, allowing the person to pass through any object. Scott experiments on himself and discovers that each time he passes through something he ages rapidly. He begins killing people, sucking out their life energies and regaining his youth as a result. I
Remake director: John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing)
Synopsis: A small group of survivors at a military installation who managed to survive a nuclear holocaust attempt to drive across the desolate wasteland in a specially designed vehicle to where they hope more survivors are living. Along the way freakish weather, mutated plant and animal life - including a plague of cockroaches – make their mission dangerous and deadly.
Remake director: Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, The Descent)
Prophecy (1979) Directed by John Frankenheimer
Synopsis: A log company's toxic waste mutates the environment, creating a giant killer bear-monster. Driven mad from the poisonous waters, the savage beast spreads terror and death across the Maine countryside.
Remake director: Greg Mclean (Wolf Creek, Rogue)
The Island (1980) Directed by Michael Ritchie
Synopsis: A vicious band of modern day pirates is raiding vacationing yachts in the Caribbean. A reporter and his son investigate the mystery of the disappearing boats and come across the murderous raiders who decide to induct them into their tribe.
Re-titled: Atoll (due to recent Michael Bay sci-fi actioner The Island)
Remake director: Eli Roth (Cabin Fever, Hostel: Part II)
Evilspeak (1981) Directed by Eric Weston
Synopsis: An orphan and social outcast at a military academy is constantly bullied and humiliated by his colleagues, teachers, and even the reverend. When the cadet finds a book of black mass that belonged to an evil medieval priest, he uses his computer to conjure Satan and his demon boars to wreak diabolical havoc on his harassers.
Remake director: Takashi Miike (Audition, Imprint)
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Comment by Movie Mall
Movie Catcher
The Invisible Sky
I wouldn't mind seeing The Evil Dead updated and going even darker and twisted than the original. Though it's still creepy, the make-up and effects have not stood up well over time on the 1981 version, as opposed to a bigger budgeted The Thing or The Exorcist - movies dealing with a form possession of the time.
Loved the two Evil Dead follow-ups, but they were more your campy, light-hearted horror. I want a full-blown Demon gore fest - that's believeable and doesn't look like someone has spilled a whole lotta milk.
I'm sure there are others...
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Jake 5
Cinema Voir
Drunk Rant
Drunk rant
Comment by Movie Mall
Movie Catcher
The Invisible Sky
Haven't seen Braindead, but I'll have to have a look ... Watched the other two, Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles. Absolute pissers.
What kinda work did you do?
You're an old Kiwi boy, yeah?
Comment by Damo
Also I would love to see an English version of the Sri Lankan film Guerrilla Marketing. It has madness, politics, devils and exorcisms. Not sure who could direct this.
The Cars that Ate Paris with a much bigger budget. Directed by Ridley Scott.
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
I would also like to see The Beastmaster and Krull remade with HUGE budgets and some major excitement.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
MM, I was a Production Trainee. Yeah, Kiwi
Damo, Cars and Scott. I like!!
Jason, Beastmaster and Krull. Now, you're cooking. I can realistically see that happening, when Sword and Sorcery makes a serious comeback.
Comment by Jake 5
Cinema Voir
Drunk Rant