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Horrorphile - July 2009

THE STATE OF THE BAIT

July 21st 2009 00:21

There are comin’ in thick and fast; Halloween is not too far off and American distributors know this is a time to make a killing at the box office for horror flicks. So without further bloody adieu here are five trailers of varying calibre with my two or three cents thrown in for bloody measure.

First up is Rob Zombie’s continued travesty; Halloween II (2009), or H2 as some of the stupid marketing refers to it. As if Zombie’s dire remake of John Carpenter’s seminal slasher flick wasn’t enough, which single-handedly ruined any kind of nightmarish mystery associated with the boogeyman we know as Michael Myers. Donald Pleasence eats Malcolm McDowell for breakfast. And Tyler Mane is no Nick Castle.

For this remake sequel Zombie kicks off in the hospital from the original sequel and then takes the story into his own hands by jumping ahead two years to further destroy any shred of respect for the original and have Michael Myers plan a family reunion via psycho prompting from his dead mother (played of course by Zombie’s trailer trash wife Sheri Moon).

The House on Sorority Row (1983) was apparently an above average slasher flick. I’ve never seen it so I can’t comment there, but Quentin Tarantino selected it for his inaugural Quentin Tarantino Film Fest in Austin, 1996. However Tarantino’s taste in movies is questionable, since he loves trash and trash is an oh so very particular taste.

The remake, Sorority Row (2009), by debut feature director Stewart Hendler (who it seems is now working on a remake of one of my favourite medieval movies Flesh [plus sign] Blood! Nooo!) looks set to follow the original reasonable closely, except the initial prank involves a fellow student instead of a teacher. Carrie Fisher (who obviously needs to pay some bills) plays a teacher, whilst the rest of Theta Pi sorority is made up of young up-and-coming starlets including Briana, the daughter of Greg BJ & the Bear Evigan and Rumor, the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. Rather curiously the MPAA censors warn that the movie contains strong bloody violence, language, sexuality/nudity and … wait for it … partying, goodness gracias me!

The Final Destination (2009) is apparently the final sequel in the successful creative graphic death series Final Destination (2000), which had two sequels, one every three years. Now three years after Final Destination 3 (2006) it’s back to director David R. Ellis (who alternated with James Wong). Instead of calling it Final Destination 4: The Final Chapter (oops, wrong series), a “The” is added to give the movie a prefix finality (to be pronounced as: The Final Destination).

The added bonus to this installment is that the movie is in 3D. Cool, I like 3D. All movies should be in 3D. Of course, being a Final Destination movie there will no doubt be a lot of stuff being thrown at the camera and that can get a bit overwhelming and frankly, rather tedious. Still I like the first big disaster and major body count of the movie which takes place at an Indy 500 style car race. Let’s hope the creative deaths really shine in the most gruesome and spectacular way possible. Of course if the movie does really well we’ll probably get Final Destination 5: A New Beginning. Hmmm, sound familiar?

Zombieland (2009) has its rotting tongue deep in its cheek. This kinda looks like a spoof on reality shows and carnivals. Directed by Rubin Fleischer and not to be confused with a straight movie of the same name starring Brad Dourif. Woody Harrelson plays an AK-toting bad ass keen to tag the Zombie Kill o’ the Week. Bill Murray plays a zombie. Pretty young things Amber Heart and Emily Stone co-star, along with Little Miss Sunshine Abagail Breslin, and Jesse Eisenberg. This could very well be the American answer to the brilliant Shaun of the Dead (2004), but who really knows. I quite like the trailer, but the state of the bait isn’t any indication on the calibre of the feature. The question I really have to ask though is when will the glut of zombie movies subside?! Will George Romero have the final say with his much anticipated next (final??) installment in his own series, Island of the Dead, or will it be Dusk of the Dead, or Twilight of the Dead, or simply ... Of the Dead. Hmmmm.

And finally … Martin Scorsese, the modern American master of cinema turns his attention to a horror movie. Shutter Island (2009), based on the novel by Dennis Lahane. Well, to be honest, it’s more of a supernatural thriller, but by the looks of the excellent, albeit rather too revealing, trailer there’s gonna be some serious thrills and spills. Leonardo DiCaprio perfects a thick Eastern twang, and his co-stars include Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson, Elias Koteas, Ted Levine, and 80-year-old Max Von Sydow. Whew, what a cast!

This is a tale of unadulterated creepy-ass madness. Production values and shooting style remind me of his remake of Cape Fear (1991), and looks set to be channeling a Hitchcockian visual sense as well. I’ve been waiting for Scorsese to have another go at scaring his audience. This looks like one not be missed on the big screen!

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Posted By: Bryn - Category: bait

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Comments

5 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by katyzzz

July 21st 2009 06:05

Photography Tips
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It scares me to death, you know what a weak stomach I have, Bryn

Comment by Bryn

July 22nd 2009 05:33

Horrorphile

You should know what to expect in the Darkness by now katyzzz ...

Comment by katyzzz

July 22nd 2009 06:06

Photography Tips
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Good one Bryn, as always

Comment by Christopher Waldeck

July 29th 2009 02:10

Dunk Films

The only one of these that looks good is the Shutter Island and it isn't even really a horror movie. you were right with your iceberg comment on my blog, but sadly I was only talking about films that were trying to hard to be horror that just blew. I could have mentioned Homecoming, shrooms and the entire list of bad B movies of horror, and I don't even consider Uwe Boll's films as any genre except trash so his movie didn't count. There are to many remakes and bad sequels so i picked the names that most people would know, which are just as bad as some of the movies that they probably didn't know. Let's hope that someone can revive this genre. Hopefully, i can when i go into film, but I've four years till then.

Comment by Bryn

July 29th 2009 04:41

Horrorphile

Chris, I have no fear about the real Darkness. There's great horror filmmakers out there, you just have to dig deep. Rob Zombie's travesty reboot of Halloween is one of the worst current examples. On the other side of the coin, Ils and Paranormal Activity are fantastic, unpretentious horror filmmaking.
I enjoyed Drag Me to Hell, but I'm not impressed that Raimi is remaking The Evil Dead.

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