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ďInvitation to Dance - Itís a Dance. And sometimes they turn the lights off in this ballroom. But weíll dance anyway, you and I. Even in the Dark. Especially in the Dark. May I have the pleasure?Ē --- Stephen King ::::::::::: MY CRITERIA FOR DISCUSSION ENCOMPASSES THE HORROR GENRE AND BEYOND, SO I USE THE TERM "NIGHTMARE MOVIES". SPOILERS CAN OCCUR WITH OR WITHOUT WARNING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The Machine Girl

February 20th 2009 04:05
The Machine Girl movie poster
And now for something completely over-the-top, no-holds-barred, utterly gratuitous, and sensationally silly: Noburo Igushiís Kataude mashin g‚ru, or as its more widely known as: The Machine Girl (2008), a Japanese exploitation indulgence that can only be fully appreciated with your tongue squirming wildly in your cheek as fake blood dribbles down your chin.

Ami (Minase Yashiro), a high school girl with a heart of steel and a high kick to match, is very protective of her younger brother Yu (RyŰsuke Kawamura). Poor Yu and his buddy are bullied to death by Sho Kimura and his gang. Shoís tyrannical father RyŻji Kimura (Kentaro Shimazu) is a vicious ninja Yakuza (!) boss. When Ami discovers the battered lifeless bodies of her brother and his friend she goes on a rampage of revenge.
The Machine Girl Minase Yashiro
Minase Yashiro as Ami
Despite Amiís inherent resilience she ends up victim of the Kimuraís wrath, and subsequently loses her fingers to the bossís samurai sword. The wife, Violet (Honoka), is not impressed with her husbandís half-finished job and she severs Amiís arm completely. But Ami manages to escape, and with the help of an equally vengeful Miki (the young mother of Yuís murdered friend) and her mechanic husband, Amiís stump is fitted with a Gattling-style machine gun. Together Ami and Miki set out to obliterate the Yakuza clan responsible for all this unnecessary violence. Itís an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, an arm for an arm, and a head for a head.
The Machine Girl Kentaro Shimazu and Nobuhiro Nishihara
Kentaro Shimazu as Kimura boss and his son Sho (Nobuhiro Hishihara)
The Machine Girl makes no excuses, and takes no prisoners; itís a bad flick. Itís cheap and nasty and gleefully revels in its exploitative nature. Cartoonish and excessive itís a rollicking blood-drenched ride of sheer absurdist extremes. The violence is graphic, but the special effects are hardly convincing (in most scenes theyíre downright tacky). The cult splatter flick Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki (1991) comes to mind.
The Machine Girl Minase Yashiro
Ami opens fire on her enemies
The acting for the most part is adequate for this type of movie. The best performances are from two porn stars; gung-ho Asami, and striking Honoka, as the scene-stealing, drill-bra wearing Yakuza wife Violet. But The Machine Girl was never going to be about convincing the audience of the rampant emotions. This is a movie that sprays energy like arterial blood.

The Machine Girl Honoka
Honoka as Violet Kimura
The Japanese excel in this area of exploitation; the cute schoolgirl with the big machine gun. That description alone is enough to make most hardcore exploitation fans start salivating. The only thing missing is nudity, but then the Japanese have a very twisted take on sexuality portrayed commercially on-screen. You can suggest all kinds of sexual aberration - and they love their hardcore - but to show it explicitly you need to venture down into the black market. In The Machine Girl there is sexual innuendo, but nothing offensive. I use the word ďoffensiveĒ in a fairly loose manner.
The Machine Girl Asami and Minase Yashiro
Miki (Asami) and Ami strike the pose for bloody vengeance
The Machine Girl is a most acquired taste, like raw fish. Late night viewing after several spliffs and numerous beers is probably the best procedure. A group of mates clustered around would inject a further potent infectious hilarity. This movie is not to be taken seriously if your life depends on it. Itís comic-book craziness and demands to be viewed in a suitably wicki-wacky state of mind. If youíre not that way inclined, then guzzle some tequila and eave your cinephilic sensibility at the door alongside your shoes, The Machine Girl is locked and loaded, prepare to be blasted!
The Machine Girl Kentaro Shimazu
Ryuji Kimura with his favourite deadly weapon

The Machine Girl Asami
Miki screams bloody murder

The Machine Girl alternate poster art


Here's the Japanese trailer (you don't need subs):


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Comments
9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Damo

February 20th 2009 04:50
I think that school uniform is the real icing on this cake.

What a girl?
What a hot date she would be.

Comment by Bryn

February 20th 2009 05:11
Damo, school uniform, roger that.

The machine-gun might get in the way during dates at the movies, and certainly further down the track between the sheets ... *clunk!* "Oh, sorry! Was that your head?" LOL

Comment by Chris Champion

February 20th 2009 06:23

Comment by Bryn

February 20th 2009 07:16
Hi Chris, glad I could tickle your funny bone ... watch out though I may break it in the future!

Comment by Kleonaptra

February 21st 2009 05:00

Comment by Jake 5

February 21st 2009 18:26
Freakin Heck! I cant wait to watch this. Great post!

Comment by Cibbuano

February 22nd 2009 22:24
I saw the trailer for this last year and shook my head in disbelief... the Japanese sure know how to ramp up th exploitation!


Comment by Jake 5

March 12th 2009 02:04
The first thing that comes to mind is how sucky it is to get your boobs ripped off. otherwise this movie is per real life sweet japanimation. It could have come up with more ways to spray blood but in all it was sweet butter. another good call by horrorphile.I love the fact that the voices are close if not the same as what you would get from fist of the north star. you knew from that right away that it was gonna be a good bloody mess.
My drink of choice for this was straight brandy and no reason to the moive.
Drunk Rank

Comment by Bryn

March 12th 2009 04:38
Jake, you're a hoot and a half

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