The Ferryman, The Alphabet Killer, Repo! The Genetic Opera
October 7th 2009 04:34
Yes, it’s a three-in-one post today. A little on the lazy side, but these are three movies I had high expectations of and they all let me down considerably. So, they end up being bunched together in brief ‘cos really that’s all the time I have for them. ‘Nuff said.
The Ferryman (2007)
Two couples and a single friend set off on a charter boat for a romantic Fiji destination only to become embroiled in the vengeful and relentless machinations of a savage sea demon after rescuing a dodgy Greek sailor. The demon in turn possesses each of them through a bewitched dagger. Who will survive and what will be left of them?
An English-New Zealand co-production set almost entirely on a small cruiser from the same director of the utterly different Soane’s Wedding (a romantic-comedy), which was a lot more successful than this, even though it wasn’t that good. Director Chris Graham likes to think he knows what he’s doing, but the movie falls apart very quickly. Not helped by a messy, confusing screenplay from Nick Ward (who I expected better things from).
It doesn’t help that the acting is uneven as Hell, with only Brit actor Amber Sainsbury delivering the delectable goods; I could’ve sworn she was a Kiwi from her excellent command of the local accent, and she even looks like she might have native blood in her too. Kerry Fox’s acting, on the other hand, seems to be getting worse and worse. She was excellent all those years ago in the Jane Campion directed biopic of Janet Frame, An Angel at My Table, what the hell went wrong?!
The Ferryman outstays its welcome swiftly, becoming sillier and more tedious with every passing minute. It’s a shame because I really wanted it to be the hardcore Kiwi injection into the current horror scene. Instead I found myself cringing and my hand fiddling with the remote. Even the classic Kiwi rock tracks interspersed throughout the movie failed to liven things up. The gore special effects weren’t that special either, but the serpentine tattoo looked good, I’ll give the make-up department that much. This is one ferryman I refuse to pay, I won’t even fix a price.
The Alphabet Killer (2008)
Director Rob Schmidt, who gave us the rather excellent hillbilly nightmare Wrong Turn (2003) with sexy Eliza Dushku, returns with a serial killer thriller with a supernatural bent. Zodiac this ain’t, and The Sixth Sense (1999) it seems to pull from, but doesn’t succeed in either the authenticity of the former or the creepiness of the latter.
But what really disappointed me was Eliza Dushku’s acting. It’s dreadful. She was fine in Wrong Turn, but somehow her grasp of her character’s psychological and emotional plight slips through her fingers. The only notable element to this whole movie is that Dushku momentarily flashes her rather sensational tits (but in a non-erotic scene). This is curious since Dusku (like Jessica Alba) supposedly had a no nudity clause, and there was even an hilarious personal quote from her saying “You have a better chance of seeing God than me naked.” Still she looked better when she wasn’t as thin as she is now. But I digress something chronic …
The movie’s happenings are based loosely on the initial double child killings in Rochester, New York in the early 1970s. Dusku plays Lt. Megan Paige who develops a form of schizophrenia and is removed from the case, only to return to the pursuit inadvertently two years later after having lost her fiancée Kenneth (Cary Elwes).
The movie is almost entirely devoid of atmosphere (apart from the odd nicely shot landscape), feeling like a lame television crime movie of the week. The support cast, including Timothy Hutton (what the hell happened to his career?!), Michael Ironside, and Bill Moseley, are all wasted, or in thankless roles. The only good thing is the movie’s poster design.
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
I’m no doubt gonna receive a few disagreements with this review, but hey, it’s my perblogative. I’ll state firstly that as a rule I’m not a fan of musicals. I did however enjoy The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2008). Repo! Falls somewhere between The Rocky Horror Picture Show and … a bad dream. There’s a hint of Liquid Sky’s zany, ultra-cool post-modernism, but none of the truly underground avant-garde chic. There are the wild and weird characters straight out of Rocky Horror, but none of them anywhere near as memorable. There’s the over-the-top production design and provocative gore, but I’m sure it was all much more impressive on stage where the production was first helmed.
Written by playwrights Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich and directed by Saw-man Darren Lynn Bousman the post-apocalyptic tale concerns a grim future where organ failure has swept the world like a pandemic. The GeneCo Company has emerged to offer great payment plans for organ transplants. But, miss your payment one too many times and the GeneCo repo men will come and tear your heart (or liver, or kidney, or spleen) from your chest in the most unsavoury fashion.
The entire narrative is sung, ahem, correction, spoke-sung; that ghastly limbo between singing and speaking that seems to plague so many musicals. The so-called songs are no better sounding like God-awful rejects from a Meatloaf album. The acting scrapes the proverbial bucket, and this is most unfortunate since there are some reasonably solid actors on board: Paul Sorvino plays Rotti Largo, patriarch of GeneCo, Anthony Head plays the lead Repo Man, while Bill Moseley plays one of the central roles of Luigi Largo, the prodigal son. Webber opera heavyweight Sarah Brightman makes her big screen debut, all blazing sightless eyes, as Blind Mag, and Paris Hilton, sporting her own fetish-glam wardrobe, somehow keeps edging her way onscreen as Amber Sweet.
Repo! is certainly an acquired taste, and no doubt will have garnered its own cult following already, but it’s a flavour that repels me. I tried to like it, I gave it into the third or so song, but the story-telling grated on me, and the music turned me off (not to mention that infuriating sing-speak). I ended up fast-forwarding through it, and thank God it was the 90-minute cut and not the original 150-minute version! The production design (all CGI and stagey theatrics) had its moments, but the graphic gore left me cold. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my nightmares of the old school variety. The atmosphere of Repo! wasn’t camp enough to enjoy a la Rocky Horror, and wasn’t perverse enough to truly tickle my darker fancies.
Here's The Ferryman trailer:
Here's The Alphabet Killer trailer:
Here's Repo! The Genetic Opera trailer:
The Ferryman (2007)
John Rhys-Davies as The Greek
It doesn’t help that the acting is uneven as Hell, with only Brit actor Amber Sainsbury delivering the delectable goods; I could’ve sworn she was a Kiwi from her excellent command of the local accent, and she even looks like she might have native blood in her too. Kerry Fox’s acting, on the other hand, seems to be getting worse and worse. She was excellent all those years ago in the Jane Campion directed biopic of Janet Frame, An Angel at My Table, what the hell went wrong?!
Sally Stockwell as Tate and Amber Sainsbury as Kathy
The Alphabet Killer (2008)
But what really disappointed me was Eliza Dushku’s acting. It’s dreadful. She was fine in Wrong Turn, but somehow her grasp of her character’s psychological and emotional plight slips through her fingers. The only notable element to this whole movie is that Dushku momentarily flashes her rather sensational tits (but in a non-erotic scene). This is curious since Dusku (like Jessica Alba) supposedly had a no nudity clause, and there was even an hilarious personal quote from her saying “You have a better chance of seeing God than me naked.” Still she looked better when she wasn’t as thin as she is now. But I digress something chronic …
Eliza Dushku as Megan
The Alphabet Killer strikes again
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
Written by playwrights Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich and directed by Saw-man Darren Lynn Bousman the post-apocalyptic tale concerns a grim future where organ failure has swept the world like a pandemic. The GeneCo Company has emerged to offer great payment plans for organ transplants. But, miss your payment one too many times and the GeneCo repo men will come and tear your heart (or liver, or kidney, or spleen) from your chest in the most unsavoury fashion.
Paul Sorvino as Rotti
Sarah Brightman as Blind Mag
Paris Hilton struts her pitiful stuff
Here's The Ferryman trailer:
Here's The Alphabet Killer trailer:
Here's Repo! The Genetic Opera trailer:
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Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
Haven't seen the other two.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Three to miss here it seems, though i haven't read anything favourable on any of them to begin with.
I still dig Eliza in The Dollhouse, that's a series you may enjoy too....read the synopsis and see
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Natalina, well there you go then.