Skinwalkers

Horrorphile

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Skinwalkers

April 14th 2008 08:09

In a word? Dreadful. In a sentence? How could they fuck up yet another werewolf premise? Skinwalkers (2006) was produced by the After Dark Films production house, the same people responsible for the Horrorfest: 8 Films To Die For festival now in its third year. Most of the movies that have screened as part of that festival have been shite. Skinwalkers, although linked to Stan Winston (he co-produced it) and of a bigger budget, is still a bad movie.

It's a shame because Canadian De Niro lookalike Elias Koteas is in it, and I’ve always enjoyed his work, especially in Atom Egoyan’s Exotica and David Cronenberg’s Crash. The lead is played by uber-babe Rhona Mitra (the woman who should’ve played Lara Croft, instead of Angelina Jolie, but I digress). With these two at the helm the movie should’ve been so much better, but they struggle with risible dialogue and cardboard characters. In fact the entire screenplay is a load of hogwash.

Rhona Mitra as Rachel

Watching Skinwalkers made me want to go rent the Blade trilogy, or endure Underworld again (if only for Kate Beckinsale in latex, but I digress once again). What is Stan Winston doing?? His involvement in particular movies of late is leaving a lot to be desired. I really thought Skinwalkers might be a bit of hairy fun. The poster is great. Sheeesh.

Young Timothy, on the threshold of teenagehood, is the only hope between two warring packs of werewolves. Well, actually, they’re “skinwalkers”, which is a reference to the American Indian Navajos legend of human-wolves. Timothy is a half-breed, raised by his human mother Rachel and protected by his skinwalker relatives since he was born. They have all kept the secret about his bloodline and neither Timothy nor Rachel are privy to this curse.

Timmy (Matthew Knight) realises the horror he's trapped in

A few days before Timothy's thirteenth birthday a pack of evil skinwalkers, lead by charismatic Varek, are closing in. They embrace the lust and violence which inhabits them, whereas Timothy’s clan is forever trying to keep the wolves at bay. Now the moon is full and red and there’ll be much blood spilled before bedtime.

Jason Behr as Varek

The whole of Skinwalkers looks like a commercial for denim, or perhaps shampoo, it’s hard to tell. Everyone is decidedly attractive and the lighting is just right. Director Jim Isaac, the hack who gave us Jason X (2001), frequently screws up the line of sight, and can’t help himself with the swooping Steadicam or crane shots. It’s very self-conscious, and smacks of pretentiousness.

Skinwalkers Kim Coates, Jason Behr, Natassia Malthe

Badass skinwalkers

The werewolf make-up makes the lycanthropes look like they’d be more comfortable sashaying down a catwalk with a fur coat draped over their shoulders. Stan Winston’s got a lot to answer for. Apparently the movie premiered at 110 minutes long. It was also rated R (with more flesh on display and more of the werewolf sex). So why they hell did it get peeled back to a PG-13?! The adult rating (and Nastassia Malthe nude) would perhaps have been its saving grace … actually, probably not.

Nastassia Malthe as evil Sonja

I’m still hanging for this lesbian romance with wolf fur; Jack and Diane, set in NYC and supposedly co-starring Ellen Page, but it seems that one’s been put on the backburner, and no scheduled for 2010. Page no longer mentions it in interviews so chances are now that Page is flying high with Juno, she may be reluctant to get her teeth stuck into a dyke wolf flick so soon, but I digress once again …

Beware ...werewolf bikers

Skinwalkers is cemented in Lamesville with the inclusion of a thrash metal track over the closing credits. Bore me to tears why don’t you. Grrrrrrr!

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Posted By: Bryn - Category: movie reviews

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Comments

10 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Damo

April 14th 2008 10:08

Why do I get the feeling that I seen this before only it was with vampires instead?

Same Jeans and bikie attitude.

Comment by tlcorbin

April 14th 2008 13:49

You forgot your own rage party Damo?

It was transformed into a mediocre movie bereft of any salvation, but could have been a dazzler Bryn, I for one had high hopes for it, being somewhat familiar with Skinwalker legends.

Raven

Comment by JohnDoe

April 14th 2008 21:44

Film & TV on DVD

Hi Bryn,

Painful wasn't it? After skipping a lot of atrocious films for a while this one reminded me just how bad a film can be.

Comment by Bryn

April 15th 2008 01:14

Horrorphile

Raven,
I'd like to know a little more about the legend ... Can you point me in the direction of any online info?

JD,
especially since the movie actually cost a bit to make and decent actors like Elias Koteas and Rhona Mitra were leads. I realised all was not good after the first few lines of dialogue in the woods and the respective performances at movie's beginning ... I bet you were the same.

Comment by tlcorbin

April 15th 2008 01:30

Here's a few links that may interest you Bryn.

Skinwalker

Navajo Skinwalkers

Hunt for Skinwalkers

Raven

Comment by Louie

April 15th 2008 02:23

randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips

just what the world needed another bad movie

Comment by Bryn

April 15th 2008 06:44

Horrorphile

Louie ... the world has been bombarded by bad movies ever since projectors first started rolling ... but hey, we keep holding out hope ...

Comment by Natalina

August 21st 2009 03:29

My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog

What pisses me off is that this damn movie could have been soooo cool, you know? Like, there is so much material to work with about the legend of the Skinwalkers, it could have been great. Unfortunately, they decided that it would be more fun to use the skeleton of an awesome idea and then take a giant shit all over it.

I hold out hope that SOMEONE will take the Utah legend and make it into a far better film...perhaps I should just write the damn thing myself!

Comment by Bryn

August 21st 2009 03:36

Horrorphile

Perhaps you should ...
I just re-read my review and had a bit of a chortle.

Comment by Natalina

August 21st 2009 03:44

My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog

This was a fun review. More entertained here than during the actual film. I especially liked the last line. Well, the second to last line, right before the growling

Wait, no the third and second to the last line...ok the last paragraph. LOL I think I'm the mayor of Lamesville. You're a funny fucker!