Six movie adaptations I'd like to see

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SIX MOVIE ADAPTATIONS I'D LIKE TO SEE

May 5th 2009 02:04

Rather than remaking classic movies, what about adaptations of novels that haven’t yet been done? There are dozens of brilliant novels aching to be filmed. Of course whether or not they’d turn out to be decent movies is an entirely different matter, dependent on too many variables to mention. But let’s daydream for a moment, shall we?

These six novels had a profound effect on me. I’ll list them in the rough order I read them, which, coincidentally, happens to be the rough order in which they were written. A couple of them I’m sure have come very close to being filmed, but for some reason or another the circumstances haven’t been right; usually creative differences between producers, directors and screenwriters, or the funding simply fell through.

These six novels aren’t traditional horror novels, but they harness a palpable nightmarish quality, illicit a dark and foreboding tone, and/or feature frequent scenes of atrocity or a graphic visceral nature. I’ve included my choice for director, and the occasional choice of lead actor.

Almuric by Robert E. Howard

Almuric by Robert E. Howard original paperback cover

The creator of Conan the Barbarian, Howard’s interplanetary epic of sword and sorcery is a savage tale that bristles with violence and raw power, laced with an exotic sensuality, and compounded by a primal desire for heroism. Originally it featured as a magazine serialization in Weird Tales back in 1939, and wasn’t published in novel form until the mid-60s (rumour has it that one Otto Binder ghost-wrote Howard’s original draft and even added the final saccharine chapter). In a short prologue the main character Esau Cairn is described as a freak, “a man whose physical body and mental bent leaned back to the primordial.” The prologue tells how Cairn, after short-lived careers in football and boxing, is manipulated by a corrupt political boss and driven to murderous rage (an emotion he harbours with a short fuse). On the run from certain execution he arrives at the laboratory of a scientist (who is narrating the prologue) working on a Great Secret who offers Cairn the chance of a one-way flight through space. Cairn agrees and is transported to “the wild, primitive, and strange planet named Almuric.” It is there that a naked Cairn begins his own narrative of surviving a mysterious, demon-haunted hell-world.
Zack Snyder would do an excellent job directing.

The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski

The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski cover

Semi-autobiographical, this astounding tale of survival during WWII is Kosinski’s most famous novel, a picaresque exploration of terror and savagery, the corruption of innocence, and the redeeming power of love. Written in first person the story describes how a six-year-old boy was sent by his parents to the shelter of a distant Eastern European village to shield him from the horrors of the Holocaust. But there is no safety anywhere and the boy’s sanity is threatened, as he is constantly hounded and tortured, running a gauntlet odyssey that takes him through the macabre extremes of the human soul. The Painted Bird has no dialogue yet it etches a vivid nightmare landscape and a striking portrait of distorted humanity. This was Kosinski’s first novel and was published in 1966. Although I’m a huge fan of other Kosinski novels, such as Cockpit and The Devil Tree, it is The Painted Bird that would make the best nightmare movie.
Another Pole with a vivid imagination who experienced the horror of war, Roman Polanski, should direct.

The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks

Why this hasn’t been filmed is beyond me; it is incredibly cinematic, but then most Iain Banks books are. Someone must own the rights and is sitting on them. This was Banks first novel, published in 1984, and is arguably his best (I haven’t read any of his sf, which is apparently brilliant), although several later novels come close (Complicity, Espedair Street, The Crow Road). Frank, a precocious teenager, lives a secretive and very dark existence; “Two years after I killed Blyth I murdered my young brother Paul … and then a year after that I did for my young cousin Esmerelda, more or less on a whim.” Frank is obsessed with death. He’s a control freak as well. And there is something very, very strange in his world. The grotesque beauty of his nightmare realm steadily spreads to engulf him. Banks delivers one of the finest, most horrifying twists that I’ve ever read. The novel is filled with brilliant passages of outlandish imagery.
David Lynch would be the man to helm this.

Glamorama by Brett Easton Ellis

This extraordinary novel, published in 1998, of decadence, illusion, delusion and insanity went into pre-production a couple of years ago with Roger Avary at the helm (a poster mock-up was even designed). I think he would’ve done a pretty decent job of it, even though I have numerous reservations over his handling of Ellis’s The Rules of Attraction (however the montage sequence of Kim Pardue as jet-setting Victor is brilliant). Fate has dealt Avary a nasty blow: in January last year he crashed the car he was driving, seriously injuring his wife and killing his Italian buddy. Supposedly he was drunk at the time. He was charged with manslaughter, but I’m not sure of the outcome. Apparently Neil Gaiman has stated on his blog that Avary rarely drinks. Avary was at one point going to direct a feature based on Gaiman’s seminal Sandman graphic novels. Glamorama describes the descent taken by part-time NYC model and socialite Victor Ward into a darkly glamorous world of deception and terror. As the narrative progresses (from Victor’s perspective) his reality begins to fracture and disintegrate; confetti starts to fall and everything he touches feels like ice. Horrendous violence rears its ugly head and the intoxication of desire cuts deeper and deeper. Avary did manage to film a short, Glitterati, in 2004, which was intended to be a kind of Glamorama prelude. Avary holds the lifetime rights to the novel, but there is no longer a listing on imdb.com. Fingers crossed.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

House of Leaves by Danielewski page example

Brett Easton Ellis describes this utterly unique book as “A phenomenal debut. Thrillingly alive, sublimely creepy, distressingly scary, breathtakingly intelligent – it renders most other fiction meaningless.” It’s all that and more. Written in a non-linear style, much of its content is unfilmable, simply because of the stylistic way it is written; descriptive passages are often printed in a surrealist fashion (if that makes much sense). House of Leaves, published in 2000, is pure literature, yet it conjures some of the most astonishing imagery that demands to be filmed. Imagine Stephen King and J. G. Ballard on acid, trapped in a haunted house, and you might get an inkling of the dense atmosphere. The weighty book is created as if the events really took place; described in separate, yet converging realms; a troubled tattooist finds a notebook by a reclusive old man. It is the heavily annotated story of a photojournalist’s account of what happened to his family after they moved into a new house. The story unfolds from stained napkins, loosed sheets, video footage, interviews, and pages and pages of notes. Paranoia and madness grip the characters as diabolical forces begin to xenomorph and re-arrange reality. This is the stuff the darkest of nightmares are made of.
Darren Aronofsky would be the perfect choice to tackle such difficult material.

Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan

Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan cover art

William Gibson’s landmark novel Neuromancer has never seen the light of the celluloid day. It’s a shame, most of the great concepts and ideas in that 1984 novel have since been plundered for other movies. Now along comes another debut novel, published 2002, that takes the cyberpunk bull by the horns and rides that beast into bold new territory. Altered Carbon is literally the most amazing sf novel I’ve ever read. The sheer weight of hardware and software innovation Morgan has conjured is like that of a black hole; fathomless and monumental. The novel explodes with fantastic concepts and ideas, action and intrigue, violence and sensuality. This is a future that is frighteningly realistic, yet startlingly futuristic. I don’t normally read crime stories, but Altered Carbon bends the genre into something utterly compelling. This is a hard-boiled detective tale re-sleeved (to use one of the novel’s most ingenious concepts) as a powerful tech-noir thriller set in the 26th Century. Hugely entertaining, it jumps off the page, slaps you in the face and shouts “With a big budget, in the right director’s hands, I’d make a stunning movie!”
This should be directed by David Cronenberg or Martin Scorsese or David Fincher, I can't decide.

STOP PRESS! As I go to post I discover that a movie of Altered Carbon has been languishing in pre-production hell for quite a while, with Hollywood heavyweight Joel (The Matrix) Silver as producer, and three screenwriters attached (John Pogue, Joshua Marston and Albert Torres), but no director and no cast. Will it ever see the green light of day?

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Posted By: Bryn - Category: lists

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Comments

7 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Bryn

May 5th 2009 03:14

Horrorphile

David, man, there is some serious bile in your mouth ... Your spit has covered the rocky walls of my blog lair ... Was it something I said in my post??
Not sure I could stomach Orble the Musical ... I'm having a hard enough time digesting the fact that there's a Shane Warne - The Musical, and now Jerry Springer - The Musical ... I can't stand musicals as a rule of severed thumb. I don't mind good concert movies, but musicals grate on me something chronic. The idea of a blog musical sounds turgid indeed.

Comment by Damo

May 5th 2009 08:21

I am hanging out for Ape and Essence by Aldus Huxley to be made into a film.

Classic Huxley writing many years after Brave New World about a post apocalyptic vision where power struggles dominate all.

Comment by JohnDoe

May 5th 2009 21:29

Film & TV on DVD

Always a fun topic Bryn,

A few that i personally would love to see and possibly have a hand in adapting are: (Trying to stick with the edgier and darker stuff appropriate to a horrorphile)

Luke Rheinhardt's The Dice Man The one I would most like to adapt
Neal Stepenson's Cryptonomicon
Douglas e Winter' s Run
William Gibson's Idoru

Comment by Bryn

May 5th 2009 23:38

Horrorphile

Damo, I haven't heard of that novel, sounds intriguing. I like the title.

JD, I was almost going to include The Dice Man

Another one that must be languishing in some kind of pre-green light hell, surely.
I know of Neal Stephenson, but not that novel. Haven't heard of Douglas Winter, and haven't read Idoru. My father gave me Spook Country for my birthday last year, but I haven't read it yet.

Comment by Someone

May 6th 2009 02:10

Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business

Agreed, House of Leaves is just incredible. I would hate to see it turned into a movie though, I say there would be at least a 70-30 chance that it would be a disaster.

I've always wanted to see Matthew Reilley's Contest turned into a movie. Apparently he's completed a trailer to help get the ball rolling, but wants to direct himself... could be good, but I doubt it.

I've also wanted to see Philip K. Dick's 1965 book The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch. I mean, come on. It's not like his books don't translate well into movies (Blade Runner, Screamers, Total Recall, Minority Report), and this is probably my favourite from his works.

Also, going out on a limb here, I've always thought G.M. Hague's books would translate well into films. Don't get me wrong, the books are far from fantastic, but they just have a hollywood feel to them.

Comment by Bryn

May 6th 2009 05:53

Horrorphile

Someone,
The essence of House of Leaves is unfilmable for the most part, I just couldn't resist my overwhelming admiration for it.
I don't know Contest or G. M Hague. But then there are literally thousands of novels out there that I'd probably love that I'll never even discover, let alone find time to read.

Philip K. Dick is an author I love. I started reading Ubik, which my father gave me, but I got distracted by another book, so I need to get back to it.

I've just thought of another, albeit a short story, Poul Anderson's The Tunnel Under the World. Awesome concept which predates Groundhog day by a couple of decades.

Comment by Morgan Bell

May 6th 2009 10:23

Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train

id love to see a really dark adaptation of Dorian Gray, i dont think ive ever seen it done justice

im probably one of the few people who enjoyed Mary Reilly, the Julia Roberts take on Jekyl & Hyde, but i liked the atmoshere in that movie, and i think they could do something similar with Dorian Gray

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