30 MOVIES that should NEVER be REMADE ...
April 27th 2007 03:49
… including six that already have been!
Okay, okay, so I’m still in a blue funk about the plethora of remakes that keep being hustled and bustled out, across the big screen and all over the video store shelves. Surely and steadily all the cult classics – the untouchables – are being given the overhaul, even though they still have enough grunt and roar left in ‘em to last at least another fifty years!
So here is a list of 30 movies (I had to set a limit, so there's nothing pre-1970) that should never be remade, but inexorably and inevitably they will, whether it’s in the next few years or within the next ten to twenty. In fact, six of these movies (marked with an asterisk) have already been remade or are currently in various stages of production, so the damage has already been done.
(There are two exceptions - The Thing and The Fly - which are in fact already remakes of 50s B-movies, but were ingeniously re-envisioned. I know many horrorphiles will argue Dawn of the Dead (1978) should never have been tackled. It seems I'm of a minority mindset that the movie was a little under-baked in the first place and hasn't aged nearly as well as diehard fans would like to think.)
I shed tears of blood for the corruption still to come ...
The Exorcist (1973)
* The Wicker Man (1973)
* The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Deep Red (1975)
* The Omen (1976)
Suspiria (1977)
Phantasm (1978)
* Halloween (1978)
Alien (1979)
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
The Howling (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Possession (1981)
Videodrome (1982)
* The Evil Dead (1982)
The Thing (1982)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Demons (1985)
Re-Animator (1985)
* Day of the Dead (1985)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
The Fly (1986)
Santa Sangre (1986)
Angel Heart (1987)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Braindead (1991)
Man Bites Dog (1992)
Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Irreversible (2002)
All of these films command a mood, a tone, an atmosphere, a certain je ne sais quoi which could not be re-captured, let alone improved upon, with a remake. Those that already have been remade exhibit precious little of the original’s strengths and horror potency, whether it’s the chutzpah of low-budget ingenuity or an uncompromising surrealism.
But mark my words in blood, many, if not most, of these films will be remade eventually and dumbed down, tamed and compromised for the Joe Average audience, with the exception of Cannibal Holocaust, which I can safely assume will probably never be remade due to the extreme subject matter and its controversial depiction. An irony then that cannibalism is part of the nature of the predatory beast of the movie industry; to devour that which has been successful or has a cult following and to regurgitate it for mass (re)consumption.
The horror genre, being the black sheep of cinema, will always be singled out. But to use a musical analogy, in the words of maverick Neil Young; “Hey hey, my my/Rock and roll can never die/There's more to the picture/Than meets the eye/Hey hey, my my …”
So here is a list of 30 movies (I had to set a limit, so there's nothing pre-1970) that should never be remade, but inexorably and inevitably they will, whether it’s in the next few years or within the next ten to twenty. In fact, six of these movies (marked with an asterisk) have already been remade or are currently in various stages of production, so the damage has already been done.
(There are two exceptions - The Thing and The Fly - which are in fact already remakes of 50s B-movies, but were ingeniously re-envisioned. I know many horrorphiles will argue Dawn of the Dead (1978) should never have been tackled. It seems I'm of a minority mindset that the movie was a little under-baked in the first place and hasn't aged nearly as well as diehard fans would like to think.)
I shed tears of blood for the corruption still to come ...
The Exorcist (1973)
* The Wicker Man (1973)
* The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Deep Red (1975)
* The Omen (1976)
Suspiria (1977)
Phantasm (1978)
* Halloween (1978)
Alien (1979)
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
The Howling (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Possession (1981)
Videodrome (1982)
* The Evil Dead (1982)
The Thing (1982)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Demons (1985)
Re-Animator (1985)
* Day of the Dead (1985)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
The Fly (1986)
Santa Sangre (1986)
Angel Heart (1987)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Braindead (1991)
Man Bites Dog (1992)
Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Irreversible (2002)
All of these films command a mood, a tone, an atmosphere, a certain je ne sais quoi which could not be re-captured, let alone improved upon, with a remake. Those that already have been remade exhibit precious little of the original’s strengths and horror potency, whether it’s the chutzpah of low-budget ingenuity or an uncompromising surrealism.
But mark my words in blood, many, if not most, of these films will be remade eventually and dumbed down, tamed and compromised for the Joe Average audience, with the exception of Cannibal Holocaust, which I can safely assume will probably never be remade due to the extreme subject matter and its controversial depiction. An irony then that cannibalism is part of the nature of the predatory beast of the movie industry; to devour that which has been successful or has a cult following and to regurgitate it for mass (re)consumption.
The horror genre, being the black sheep of cinema, will always be singled out. But to use a musical analogy, in the words of maverick Neil Young; “Hey hey, my my/Rock and roll can never die/There's more to the picture/Than meets the eye/Hey hey, my my …”
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I agree wholeheartedly!
Absolutely none of those movies need to be remade for a very very long time.
This reminds me. I can't remember when it was (recently....but not sure where). A friend of mine actually said that they needed to remake An American Werewolf in London, because with special effects being what they are now, they could make the werewolf way better.
Obviously I've had to cull that friend from my social group. It was a tough decision, but a girl needs to have standards! lol.
Kylie
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by StephenP
Have to agree with Silence of the Lambs, Blair Witch and Nightmare on Elm Street (although I don't think it will be long until we get an updated, nubiled, version of Elm), but I wouldn't mind seeing The Fly remade - dunno why, just seemed interesting when I read it (and no Goldblum this time).
Cheers,
StephenP
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Instead of a Remake could we have an Unmake.
The rest should be left alone.
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
can't say that I agree with you more...when they run outta decent "original" horror material they just remake a classic, and sadly, it's usually a really really BAD remake..
Maybe you could give them some new ideas? Worth a shot! lol
Great post!
Take care,
Nick
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
There's probably a half-dozen Japanese horror flicks that could join this list - including asterisks...
;o)
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Totally agree Yoda, the Japanese horrors should be left alone, the US remakes are never as well done. They always take out the most challenging parts of the story and the eccentric atmosphere is replaced with stylised lensing that is to pretty to scare.
A few I would add:
Arachnaphobia
Jacobs Ladder
Don't Look Now
Near Dark
Rosemary's Baby
Scanners
In the Mouth of Madness
Wolfen
Carrie
The Shining (Even though King already did)
10 Rillington Place
Peeping Tom
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
I'd like to see a remake of Cannibal Holocaust with better actors!
Comment by nagster
Cenacle
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
At all.
;o)
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Pulse?
... The Host will be next.
Comment by Nina
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
well, curious you should mention Mr King. I'd love to see numerous film adaptations of his remade, simply because they screwed up the first time and didn't do the novel justice! Misery is one of the rare examples, where although its not as good as the novel, they still made a very good movie.
Comment by Nina
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
My top five?
1. The Shining - obviously quite removed from the a lot of the novel, which is one of his best, but still a great movie!
2. Carrie - Sissy and Laurie. Period.
3. The Dead Zone - one of my fave KIng novels, I liked the melancholy Cronenberg caught, and I love Walken.
4. Salem's Lot - creepy novel, creepy movie (originally made for TV, then re-edited for cinemas)
5. Misery - great cast, tidy work.
Perhaps they could remake Christine, another of my fave novels of his ...? Perhaps Firestarter, although I haven't seen either in years. And The Stand, of course. I've never watched the mini-series.
Comment by Nina
I haven't seen the mini-series The Stand either, but I'd love to see a big-screen version of that. Another novel I love of his is It, but while I haven't seen the TV movie, I can't imaging that the novel would translate well on screen.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Stephen King and George Romero tried for years to turn The Stand into a feature film but they had great trouble in getting it financed. Plus, it was a bohemeth of a screenplay that they kept cutting back until the whole project fell over. Shame really. I suppose it could still get made. I wonder who'd be the person to do it .... ? Who would you like to see directg a feature film version of The Stand?
Comment by Nina
Who would you like to see?
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
I'd possibly pick Darren Aronofsky, but it's hard, you're right.