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Mother’s Day (1980) was one of Troma’s better efforts, but that’s not saying much. Yes, I’m the first to admit I’m no fan of the Troma oeuvre. Along with The Toxic Avenger (1984), it’s regarded highly among Troma fans, but it’s a piece of crap really. The movie poster is amusing though. It was directed by Charlie Kaufman and co-written by Kaufman and Warren Leight. Who would have thought the time had come to remake a Troma movie?! Actually the time hasn’t come, despite what the credits to Mother’s Day (2010) tell you. It says it’s based on the original screenplay, and there’s even a second credit that says the movie is based on the original movie.

Jaime King as Beth

So big Troma daddy Lloyd Kaufman has managed to squeeze a sweet intellectual property deal with the producers of the new movie. For the record, there are seventeen (17 - count ‘em!) producers on the re-boot. And it’s one doozy of a re-boot with almost no recognizable elements from the original. Oh what, there’s a mother, and her three sons. And there are a few house prisoners too. But that buck stops there.

Rebecca De Mornay as Mother

The Koffin brothers, Ike (Patrick Flueger), Addley (Warren Kole), and Johnny (Matt O’Leary) return home to their mother’s pad after a bungled robbery. Johnny’s hurt real bad, bleedin’ everywhere, screamin’ blue murder. They ain’t got the stolen cash, and it turns out mama ain’t got possession of the house no more. A couple of city slickers have moved in, havin’ themselves a party. Well, there’s hell to pay. Best they start fuckin’ with the strangers ‘til mama gets there.

Patrick Flueger as Ike

Mother Koffin (Rebecca De Mornay) turns up with wallflower sis Lydia (Deborah Ann Woll) and she ain’t none too pleased. Her baby son’s spillin’ tears and blood all over the sofa and she’s sure as hell them city slickers have her envelopes of cash hidden somewhere. She was sending the boys money, but the boys had been out of town, and there was foreclosure on the house. Now the Sohapi’s, Beth (Jaime King) and Daniel (Frank Grillo) - Koffin, Sohapi, gettit? - have moved in and are trying to mend their lives having lost their lil’ un, with a new bun in the oven.

Briana Evigan as Annette

Warren Kole as Addley

Beth and Daniel are celebrating his birthday in the basement rumpus room with close friends, Annette (Briana Evigan), George (Shawn Ashmore), Julie (Lisa Marcos), Treshawn (Lyriq Bent), Gina (Kandyse McClure), Dave (Tony Nappo), and Melissa (Jessie Rusu). When the Koffin boys arrive the party quickly turns upside down. George is hauled upstairs to have his basic nurse’s skills put to use on Johnny (gaffer-taping up the gaping shotgun wound is a start), while trigger-happy meth-head Addley finds excuses to terrorise the prisoners. Soon enough there’s innocent blood spilled. Lots of it.

George tries to stem the blood flow of Johnny's nasty wound

Director Darren Lynn Bousman gave us Saw II (2005), III (2006) and IV (2007). I guess you could say he’s skilled on the torture porn front. He keeps much of that in restraint and actually allows his competent cast to apply some generous strokes of characterisation and impressive performance. Rebecca De Mornay seems to be relishing the role as the maternal devil. She has demons in her closet, alright, and they’ll be bursting out soon enough. Jaime King provides a solid counterpoint of fragility and determination, as does Shawn Ashmore’s angry doctor, and Flueger and Kole as the two older Koffin brothers.

Mother's Day Kandyse McClure, Tony Nappo, Briana Evigan, Lisa Marcos

Beth, Dave (Tony Nappo),Gina (Kandyse McClure), Annette, and Julie (Lisa Marcos)

The movie is mostly domestic bound, and as such begins to feel like a stage play, albeit housing a vicious nightmare scenario. The home invasion is one of the more realistic nightmares to seize the modern horror movie. Mother’s Day isn’t a bad movie, and it has some moments, but there is a distinct in-one-eye-and-out-the-other feel about the production. I have a feeling it was edited down to an American R rating. The ending is left wide-open, but somehow I doubt we’ll be seeing a The Day After Mother’s Day.

Shotgun blast at point blank range does terrible things to the face

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Stalingrad

January 20th 2012 03:41

Between August 1942 and February 1943 the siege of Stalingrad was not only one of WWII’s most significant battles being the largest on the Eastern Front, but is also regarded as one of the bloodiest and most brutal battles in the history of warfare. It resulted in massive casualties and it marked a turning point in Hitler’s resolute belief in the “power of the will” because he failed to attain any further strategic victories in the East and never fully recovered his earlier military strengths. Stalingrad (1993) focuses on the fates of several platoon members in Germany’s 6th Army as they struggle against the unforgiving Russian winter and the cruel treatment at the hands of their own commanders and leaders.

Thomas Kretschmann as Hans

From the producers of the cult classic submarine thriller Das Boot (1982), and directed by Joseph Vilsmaier from a screenplay by Christoph Fromm (who had his name removed after his early – and substantially more realistic - draft was changed dramatically), Jurgen Buscher, Johannes Heide, and Vilsmaier, Stalingrad is a powerful and compelling drama that depicts the horror, desperation, and harrowing resignation of war. It bombed at the American box office (probably due to audiences rejecting the original German-language version, and the American dubbed version being so poorly executed). It has finally been given a release in Australasia in a restored widescreen DVD release (and a new director’s cut no less!) and it looks and sounds excellent (you have the option of the dub version, but I wouldn’t recommend it!).

The sunshine and rest and recreation of coastal Italy in the movie’s opening scene is quickly cast aside as our clutch of determined soldiers are thrown into the chaos and carnage of the battle into Stalingrad. Hans (a young and handsome Thomas Kretschmann), Rollo (Jochen Nickel), Fritz (Dominique Hortwitz), GeGe (Sebastian Rudolph), and Otto (Sylvester Groth) are subject to the relentless defence of the Red Army. Their numbers soon start to dwindle as the horrific combat injuries rise.

Hans confronts a badly wounded Russian soldier

Hans encounters a female Rusky in the sewers of the ruined buildings, Irina (Dana Vavrova, the director’s late wife), who speaks fluent German. He disarms her, and she admits she still could have killed him with her canteen knife hidden in her boot. She manages to slip through his fingers, but he will meet her again in far harsher conditions.

Excellent performances from the entire cast, but if I had to single out any for the Iron Cross it would be Jochen Nickel and Dana Vavrova. The score is probably the movie’s weakest element, at times veering into TV movie mediocre territory, but then coming back with something eerie and full of percussive punctuation. The violence, while not as graphic in its execution, is explicit in the aftermath (lots of severed limbs!) Remember that the battle of Stalingrad was especially brutal, and this is wartime brutality, not playground bruises! More than a million soldiers were killed in action, froze to death (the Germans just didn’t have the Rusky boots to cope with the bitter cold, and as such suffered extreme frostbite!), or died of starvation; much of the 6th Army was trapped within the city so no supplies could get to them.

Stalingrad Dana Vavrova, Thomas Kretschmann,

Irina (Dana Vavrova), Hans, and Fritz (Dominique Hortwitz) at the end of their tether

Stalingrad bears the hallmarks of classic unpretentious 70s style storytelling, with impressive production values. Not as viscerally realistic as Platoon (1986), but just as gritty, not surreal like Apocalypse Now (1979), but just as nightmarish, not as poetically expressionistic as Come and See (1985), but just as unsentimental, and yet profoundly affecting. Stalingrad is up there with the all-time great war movies.

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Stalingrad DVD is courtesy of Gryphon Entertainment, many thanks!

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The Last Circus

December 16th 2011 01:17

The Last Circus (2010) is the flamboyant, over-the-top new movie from Spanish agent provocateur Alex de la Iglesia, the director who gave us Accion Mutante (1993) and The Day of the Beast (1995). Its original title is Balada Triste de Trompeta, which translates roughly as The Sad Trumpet Ballad, a more fitting banner, as this is very much a tragic tale of love blared loud and torn asunder. It is a comedy as black as midnight satin, and as absurd as the clowns who star; payaso triste and payaso tonto, the sad clown Javier (Carlos Areces) and the happy clown Sergio (Antonio de la Torre). And last but not least, the fair lady in between, la chica de la tela, Natalia (Carolina Bang).

Carlos Areces as Javier

Our dark romance kicks off in 1937 in the midst of the Spanish Civil War, where young Javier sees his clown father forced to join the militia and fight against Nationalists. His brave father, still in costume, is handed a machete and cuts his way across the urban battlefield. But a Captain cuts Javier’s father down, and in turn Javier blinds the officer, then escapes. There is a score to be settled further down the track.

Antonio de la Torre as Sergio

It is 1973 and Javier joins a ragtag circus troupe. The tragedy in his life seeps through his pores, and it is not surprising he can only manage to score the position of Sad Clown, and receive the cruel end of the stick from the borderline psychopath Sergio, playing, ironically, the Happy Clown. But it is the trapeze girl, Natalia, who steals Javier’s heart, even though she can’t tear herself away from the rough sex and abusive treatment she receives at the hands and loins of Sergio. Javier takes it upon himself to free Natalia, and, perhaps, persuade her to love him. Natalia is torn between her fascination and affection for Javier and her sexual co-dependence with Sergio.

There’ll be tears (of a clown) before bedtime.

Carolina Bang as Natalia

Imagine Santa Sangre (1989) directed by Rob Zombie; The Last Circus careers this way and that with vivid set pieces, a wild rambunctious energy, a perverse sense of wonder, and an aggressive sensuality. But comparing it it to the stylistics of Rob Zombie isn’t fair (and Alejandro Jodorowsky wouldn't be too happy either), director Iglesia has more imagination and intelligence in his pecker than Zombie has in his entire cracked skull. But there is something that reminds me of Zombie’s “flair”.

The Sad Clown goes berserk

This is the first of Iglesia’s movies not penned by Jorge Guerricaechevarria. Iglesia has written the screenplay himself, and it’s a crazy tale that feels like it’s been lifted from a novel; it has that rich, intense characterisation that’s been filtered through cinema. The performances are strong, especially that of Antonio de la Torre who captures some of the maniacal, charismatic charm of Gary Oldman. Iglesia’s partner Carolina Bang exudes star quality, but her impressive bust threatens to upstage her on numerous occasions.

The Last Circus Carolina Bang and Antonio de la Torre

A heavily scarred Sergio and a confused Natalia

The real stars of The Last Circus are the movie's originality, its magnificent production design, and the movie’s theatrical zeal. This is a strange fantasy, pure and unbridled; equal measure grotesque and beautiful, violent and gory, vivacious and glorious. It balances on the edge of pantomime, precariously at times, yet it manages not to fall into its own narcissistic abyss. At the end of the day this performance is a love it-or hate it affair. Swing high over the safety net, or splat! get the shaving cream pie smack in your face …

The Last Circus DVD is courtesy of Madman Entertainment, many thanks!

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Razorback

December 1st 2011 04:52

Razorback (1984) is a curious creature, curious being the operative word, and it’s more beast than creature. This was Russell Mulcahy’s feature debut after proving hugely successful at directing vivid and imaginative video clips for pop bands, namely Duran Duran. He was lured back to his old stomping ground of Australia by the promise of harnessing a huge pig of a horror movie; a $5.5 million B-movie that became affectionately known as “Jaws on trotters”. It was certainly riding on the crusty fins of Spielberg’s blockbuster, but also the massive success of another Australian director, George Miller, and his Ozploitation cult classic Mad Max (1979). Razorback snorts and grunts, throws up a lot of dust, and sprays a lot of feral spittle, but the guts of it is far more a lurid curiosity than anything else, a horror-comedy to be sure, often unintentionally.

Gregory Harrison as Carl faces the movie's ham

A massive Rhino-sized boar is terrorizing the farming community of the Australian Outback township known as Gamulla. This wild pig is a freak of nature, all 400 kilos of the hairy ugly bastard, screeching like a locomotive, tearing at anything that moves with its monstrous tusks, its thunderous muscles twitching like a pissed snake. This oversized marauder can rip a man to shreds, but tear right through a house and out the other side into the fiery sunset. And that’s just what it does, taking Jake Cullen (Bill Kerr)’s young son with it.

Judy Morris as Beth

Jake is sworn to avenge his son’s death, especially after he’s acquitted of the poor boy’s murder. Then in swans Beth Winters (Judy Morris), an American TV journo with a kangaroos as pet meat story to expose. Unfortunately she gets the wrong end of the tusk, and it’s her husband Carl (Gregory Harrison) who arrives on the scene determined to find out what really happened. The locals, especially the misfit Baker brothers Benny (Chris Haywood) and Dicko (David Argue), don’t take to kindly to snooping Yankees, especially when they’re told they’re Canadians

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The Revenant

November 29th 2011 23:31

Finally! D. Kerry Prior's undead buddy action comedy, The Revenant (2011), reaches the shores down under on official release! After two years of doing the festival circuit (it screened as part of Sydney's A Night Of Horror International Film Festival early last year and was considered by many as the best movie of the festival) the movie has finally secured American and international distribution. I do like my comedies black as midnight on a moonless night and this is no exception; a fresh take on the undead buddy movie set in the desolate urban expanse that is the City of Angels. The Revenant kicks some serious ass with its severed tongue squirming around inside its putrefying cheek.

Bart (David Anders), a decorated officer killed in action in the Middle East and shipped home, lies in his coffin awaiting burial. His distraught fiancée, Janet (Louise Griffiths) is comforted by her friend Mathilda (Jacy King) and Bart’s best pal Joey (Chris Wylde). But Chris is the one who gets the real shock when Bart breaks free of his box and returns to his friend’s abode, looking much worse for wear; his eyes glazed yellow, his skin pallid and crumbly, he stinks to high heaven, and when he tries to eat cold pizza he vomits up embalming fluid and black blood. A real charmer

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Giallo

November 22nd 2011 03:48

How many nails does Dario Argento need in his coffin?! Apparently quite a few, as I still rate the director very highly despite the fact that he hasn’t made a decent movie in nearly twenty-five years. Opera (1987) was flawed, but in the context of Argento’s subsequent oeuvre, it’s a bloody masterpiece. He has yet to return to the giddy delirious nightmare heights of that particular murder mystery.

With Giallo (2009) Argento delivers one of his most jaundiced movies yet. So pedestrian in every which way the soles of his creative shoes are non-existent. This is a serial killer tale that screams tedium, and grimaces with dreadful acting, dodgy English-language dubbing (even though it was shot specifically for Western audiences), and graphic violence that fails to exude any true horror

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The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

November 16th 2011 05:33

To say that The Human Centipede II (2011) is an acquired taste is like mentioning the anchovy and corned beef pizza is a little on the salty side. Writer/director Tom Six warned audiences who had savoured The Human Centipede (2009) that the sequel would make the first movie look like My Little Pony. He was not too far from the truth. The sequel, affectionately sub-titled Full Sequence - does in fact make the first movie, subtitled First Sequence, feel like a colourful stroll in the park. The Full Sequence reaches up from the dark drain as you stroll past, grabs you by the ankle, and pulls you down into the filthy, pitiful depths of hell. The Human Centipede II writhes and squeals in its own bodily fluids and excretions with the kind of depraved glee reserved only for the execrably evil.

The Human Centipede II Laurence R. Harvey

Laurence R. Harvey as Martin

The movie begins showing the last few minutes of The Human Centipede, but in black and white. The credits for the movie begin rolling and the camera pulls back to reveal that it’s being watched on a computer screen. The person watching is London loner Martin (Laurence R. Harvey); our gross and grotesque antagonist who will lead us into the depths of his (nightmare) fantasy. He is a very short and very obese man with bulging eyes and a small mouth. He works as an underground parking attendant, and lives with his abusive, desperate mother (Vivien Bridson). It’s a pathetic and ugly existence, about to get even more ugly, a whole lot more.

The Human Centipede II Laurence R. Harvey and Ashlynn Yennie

Martin fools Ashlynn Yennie into thinking she's going to audition for a Tarantino movie

Martin is obsessed (and that’s putting it mildly) with The Human Centipede. He has a scrapbook on the cult horror movie, and he watches it over and over, poring over the detail, fingering his wet lips as he ogles the poor victims sewn arsehole to mouth. He becomes aroused, but due, no doubt, to years of sexual abuse by his father he can only find gratification through pain, and so he grimaces at the computer screen as he jerks off with sandpaper wrapped around his penis. He’s distracted by a commotion on the surveillance cameras; an arguing young couple ... It’s time to put his burgeoning and hideous plan into action

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Immortals

November 11th 2011 02:30

From the same producers as 300 (2007) comes another spectacle piece of unashamed supertrash, drenched in computer-generated imagery, saturated in histrionics, soaked in pretentiousness, and undeniably entertaining on that so-bad-it’s-good level. Yes, this will most definitely feature on many critics’ guilty pleasures lists, whilst adolescents will froth over its awesomeness, and cynics will spit nails of vitriol. My brother and I chortled and sniggered like mischievous boys as we watched this overblown, overwrought, overproduced, over-the-top vision of Greek mythology re-booted. Immortals (2011) has to be seen to be (un)believed.

Henry Cavill as Theseus

Director Tarsem Singh, the man who gave us the nightmare thriller The Cell (2000), tackles a risible screenplay from two Greek brothers, Charles and Vlas Parlapanides, who have thrown numerous Classical elements into the myth cauldron and stirred them up. Immortals is the story of Theseus (Henry Cavill) and his fight against the evil King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) under the prompting of Zeus (Luke Evans). Hyperion is hunting ruthlessly for the Epirus Bow, the most powerful weapon ever made. And he’s not averse to freeing the incarcerated Titans who had battled in the heavens with the Gods but were cast asunder.

Mickey Rourke as Hyperion

Can Theseus save humanity? With a little help from High Priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto), mercenaries Stavros (Stephen Dorff) and Dareios (Alan Van Sprang), and the odd whisper of encouragment from his mentor, a wrinkly old man (John Hurt) hiding a most potent alias, perhaps he might? But he’ll probably need the interference of the Gods as well, I mean he’s got the demi-blood coursing through his veins, even if he is bound on terra firma

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Fertile Ground

November 10th 2011 02:01

Emily (Leisha Hailey) and Nate (Gale Harold) Weaver have a nice city apartment, good friends, and a bun in the oven, but tragedy strikes and Emily is left internally scarred and psychologically fragile. They decide to start again and leave the city for the rural comfort of Nate's ancestral home in the country. They may be isolated, but Nate can work in freedom on his paintings in the shed and Emily can further heal. But Emily is plagued by horrifying visions and haunted by the ancestral ghosts inhabiting the two-storey house. Nate is no longer himself, and despite a miraculous second pregnancy it seems Nate is none too happy about the prospect of a baby.

Leisha Hailey as Emily

Director Adam Gierasch and his partner and co-screenwriter Jace Anderson have a checkered career; both were hired by Dario Argento to pen the screenplay for Mother of Tears (2007), and what a disaster that was! They had both written several schlock B-movies prior and following the Argento misfire Gierasch took the director’s chair for the surprisingly effective Fulci-esque Autopsy (2008). They co-wrote, and he directed, the remake of Night of the Demons (2010), which could/should have been great, but they fumbled and dropped the ball. Now they return with an entry for After Dark Originals re-branding, and it’s very disappointing to see they’ve failed to maintain the intensity or originality they both showed with Autopsy.

Gale Harold as Nate

Fertile Ground (2011, pronounced “fur-til” if you’re a yank) is a ghost tale told in the pedestrian gate of a TV movie. It’s like an episode of The Twilight Zone, only not as interesting. The production values are okay, the acting is uneven (completely unconvincing as an artist is Gale Harold), but at least Leisha Hailey holds the picture up from completely falling on its arse, you genuinely feel for your predicament, especially considering what an arsehole her husband is and becomes even more so

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Prowl

November 9th 2011 23:14

Prowl (2010) is one of the eight new production from After Dark Films, the company which has re-branded what was called Horrorfest: Eight Films To Die For into After Dark Originals: A New Brand Of Fear. This and six of the other movies have all been released into the domestic market on DVD, with the exception of Re-Kill (2012), which is being released in Australian cinemas early next year. Prowl is an American and English co-production, shot - like many medium-budgeted American horrors – in Bulgaria with a mostly Bulgarian crew. The director, Ptrik Syversen, is Norwegian, and the screenwriter, Tim Tori, also happens to be an associate producer on another of the After Dark Originals, 51 (2011).

Courtney Hope as Amber

Amber (Courtney Hope) longs to get the hell out of dodge. The small town is doing her head in, her mum’s a soak, work is a bloody mess, and those weird flash visions aren’t helping either. Chicago beckons, and she manages to secure a shared accommodation deal in the windy city. Now she just needs to get there. Cue: friends and car.

Ruta Gedmintas as Suzy

Not long out of town and said car goes ker-put. So it looks like Amber won’t make the deal she arranged. But wait, there’s hope! A truckie, Bernard (Bruce Payne) pulls over and although he’s reluctant he’s eventually won over by the young ‘uns charms. He bundles them into the back of his rig, with young Eric (Olive Hawes) pulling the short straw and riding up front in the cab with Bernard for security reasons. So Amber, Suzy (Ruta Gedmintas), Peter (Joshua Bowman), Fiona (Perdita Weeks), and Ray (Jamie Blackley) get drunk on cheap whiskey, smoke some pot, and get curious about the cargo they’re sharing the ride with. Bernard said no snooping … ‘cos as we all know, curiosity always killed the cat

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Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

November 4th 2011 03:29

I haven’t seen the original TV movie from 1973 but Guillermo Del Toro who produced and co-wrote the screenplay for the remake, directed by Troy Nixey, has dropped the ball. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) is a very ordinary, run-of-the-mill haunted house tale-cum-creature feature that will probably appeal to young adolescents, but will only make the adult horror fans yawn.

Alex (Guy Pearce) has moved into a huge deceased estate mansion with his new partner Kim (Katie Holmes), and his daughter from a previous marriage, Sally (Bailee Madison). Sally is none too happy with the new arrangements, particularly as she isn’t fond of Kim. But once a secret door has been discovered, that leads down to a creepy basement where the previous owner painted (amongst other things), she finds herself preoccupied and more than a little fascinated

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Paranormal Activity 3

October 26th 2011 02:14

A budget of $US15,000 for Oren Peli’s indie hit Paranormal Activity (2007), then Paramount funds the sequel; $US2,750,00 for Tod Williams’ Paranormal Activity 2 (2010), and now they double that budget; $US5,000,000 for Henry Joost and Ariel Shulman’s Paranormal Activity 3 (2011). That’s Hollywood inflation for you. The irony being, the third movie, which is another prequel, is arguably the best of the three. Paranormal Activity 3 deals with the origin of the poltergeist that has plagued Katie (Katie Featherston) since she was a young girl. It is set mostly in 1988 and explains the malevolent nature of her haunting which is grounded in dark mysticism.

The sisters asleep in a shot not used in the movie

The opening scenes are set in 2005, a few years before the events of the first movie. We see Katie visiting her younger sister Kirsti (Sprague Grayden), who is pregnant (with Hunter who features in the second movie), and has just moved into the suburb of Carlsbad with her husband. Katie drops off a box of VHS tapes for storage. From the labels they appear to be home movies of the sisters as children. A jump to a year later and Kristi’s house has apparently been burglarized, and the box of tapes has been stolen. This is roughly the same scene that opens the second movie that depicts events leading up to the first movie.

Paranormal Activity 3 Christopher Nicholas Smith

Christopher Nicholas Smith as Dennis

Now we jump back in time to 1988 with young Kristi and Katie’s family. Their mum, Julie (Lauren Bittner) has a new boyfriend, Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith), who has an editing suite in the garage for his wedding video business. Soon enough there are things going bump in the night, so curious Dennis utilises his gear and sets up a camera in the girls’ upstairs bedroom and another in the master bedroom. The cameras record some freaky shit. Julie isn’t as impressed with the paranormal activity as Dennis and his mate Randy (Dustin Ingram) are, but eventually she sees the light … or should I say, the dark

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Red State

October 25th 2011 07:04

WARNING! CONTAINS SPOILERS!

Kevin Smith, one of my least-liked directors, surprises the hell out of me, and no doubt quite a few others, and delivers a movie that is actually half-decent. Okay, it’s more than half-decent; it’s actually pretty good. It’s not amazing, it’s not excellent, but it verges on very good. Smith has broken clear of those dreadful self-indulgent, wise-arse, smarmy, altogether annoying, often scatological comedies about obnoxious losers. Red State (2011) has some obnoxious characters, but the comedy is buried deep, black as coal. Some of the posters declare that it’s a “horror movie”, while others can’t help but channel some of the directors trademark sense of humour by saying, “An unlikely film from that Kevin Smith” (his twitter account is “ThatKevinSmith”). Red State is not a horror movie, it's a straight thriller with a violent edge, but it deals with some nightmarish material so it warrants being reviewed on this site

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Territories

October 20th 2011 07:13

I came into this with low expectations having read several scathing user reviews on imdb.com, but of course one must always take the user reviews with several grains of salt, as most of them wouldn’t know a decent movie if it came up and bit them hard on the ass. That might seem harsh, but the truth of the matter is, the majority of users on imdb are idiots with too much time on their hands and too much vitriol dribbling from the corners of their mouths. But I digress. Terror-tories, oops, I mean Territories (2010), heh, heh, nice wordplay guys, is a French-Canadian horror-thriller set in the forest close to the border separating Canada from The Good Ol’ United States of America. It’s what I’d comfortably brand a “nightmare movie”. Oh yessiree.

Michael Mando as Jalil

Five friends in their late 20s are returning from a Canadian wedding driving along a provincial two-lane blacktop deep in the woods when they are forced to stop by what appears to be a pop-up customs check. The two officers dressed in sinister black are by-the-numbers, until the numbers are thrown to the wayside and abuse of power enters the picture. The “superior” officer, Samuel (Roc LaFortune), doesn’t like the look of Jalil (Michael Mando), an American of Middle Eastern heritage. A broken headlight aggravates the situation. Passports are checked. But Mr. Superior isn’t convinced, and orders the occupants of the car out and to the side of the road, while their luggage is searched.

Cristina Rosato as Michelle

Unfortunately a bag of pot is discovered. Tom (Alex Weiner), a young mute, owns up, but then Gabe (Tim Rozen) takes the rap. Hell, so they smoke a little Mary Jane. But this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Tom’s older sister, Leslie (Nicole Leroux), is a lawyer and warns the officers that they are out of line, but to no avail. She is strip searched and humiliated. Their dog is gutted as the officers suspect it may be a drug mule. And then Gabe is shot dead as he tries to escape. In shock the remaining four friends are forced to strip naked, then into prisoner attire, and with sacks over their heads and their wrists bound they are lead through the woods to the officers makeshift compound where they are caged

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R

October 14th 2011 00:04

R stands for Rune (Pilou Asbæk). It also stands for Rashid (Dulfi Al-Jabouri). R (2010) is a tale of retribution with a maximum-security Danish prison. It’s survival of the fittest, or to be precise, survival of the strongest. R is raw. R is ruthless. R is realistic. This is a portrait of life behind bars subject to the hierarchy of prison status and enforced favours. This is a study of insular power games, manipulation and abuse. It makes for dark, powerful and compelling cinema, and R comes out trumps as one of the best prison movies in many years, along with A Prophet (2009) and The Escapist (2008).

Rune (Pilou Asbaek) is processed upon arrival

Rune arrives at Horsens Statsfængsel, a prison for serious criminals. Rune has been done for violent assault and has been sentenced to three years. He gets a tiny cell in the same block as many older, much tougher convicts who immediately put Rune through the initiation steps. He has his mattress taken from him, he’s assaulted and threatened in the yard, he has the photographs of his girlfriend defaced, he’s forced to clean the piss-soaked toilets, and then he’s ordered to beat the living daylights out of a “raghead” housed in one of the lower levels.

It's every man for himself

Racial tension is rife in prison. It’s a simple fact across the world. Each culture remains isolated from others. Lines are not crossed, unless you want to be maimed, or worse. Rune makes his acquaintance with the Mason (Roland Moller), a cruel sonofabitch, who’ll tell him to jump, and Rune is expected to reply, “How high?” Mason answers to the Old Man, the Big Daddy. After Rune does the bashing job he’s privileged to a cell swap with a better view (the countryside, rather than the yard). He’s even invited to poker in the lounge

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The Perfect Witness

October 13th 2011 04:21

The Perfect Witness (2007) was originally called The Ungodly, but either way, it’s guilty and wrong. This kind of inconsistent movie grates on me, and try as I might to not let it, it’s a losing battle. It’s riddled with implausibility, and it sports two thoroughly unlikeable, actually worse, uninteresting, characters – the obnoxious protagonist and the utterly boring antagonist – has them spout dialogue at each other and to other support characters like they’re in Acting 101, and fumbles with a climax as ludicrous as it is anticlimactic. The Perfect Witness suffers from delusions of immoral grandeur whilst trying to remain an edgy subversive thriller.

Wes Bentley as Mickey

Mickey (Wes Bentley) fancies himself as a filmmaker. His mother (Marcia Haufrecht) scoffs at the idea, as he looks like a bum. He has an editor mate Gino (Albert Lopez-Murta) who is reluctantly assisting him in a dangerous and highly ambitious documentary project: Interview with a Serial Killer. That’s not the title, but you get the idea. Mickey secretly videotapes James (Mark Borkowski) stabbing a woman to death in an alley, but Mickey notices him takes chase. Mickey manages to escape. But he blackmails James into being his subject matter for a doco. An uneasy acquaintance is formed.

The Perfect Witness Wes Bentley and Albert Lopez-Murta

Mickey discusses his modus operandi with Gino (Albert Lopez-Murta), while psycho James is frozen on the monitor

Mickey is battling his own demons, just as James is a tortured soul, exorcising the evil of his abuse at the hands of his mother as a child by raping and murdering young woman and plucking out their eyes to keep as trophies. Mickey wants to get the truth of the evil on tape, but James has other plans. The two of them are forced into a game of cat and mouse, or more like rat and manx. They are as vile and annoying as each other with no rhyme or reason to their behaviour. One minute they’re on top of their game, all slyness and shrewdness, the next minute they’re in fit of rage or a weeping mess

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Kumonosu-jô (Throne of Blood)

October 12th 2011 07:32

Akira Kurosawa’s version of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Throne of Blood (1957) is regarded as one of the finest cinema adaptations of the bard’s work, and I can whole-heartedly agree. It is a masterful play on greed, megalomania, betrayal, and murder. But Shakespeare or not, it is a great and powerful story regardless: the man who is lead on by a phantom prophecy and the machinations of his manipulative wife, and with delusions of grandeur spinning his fragile ego, he commits murderous treason, only to have his best friend turn against him, and eventually, his entire army, at the eleventh hour. Throne of Blood packs a dark poetic punch.

Toshiro Mifune as Washizu

Hideo Oguni, Shinobu Hashimoto, Ryuzo Kikushima, and Kurosawa’s screenplay transposes the infamous Scottish tragedy to medieval Japan. After a great military victory, lords Washizu (Toshiro Mifune) and Miki (Akira Kubo) are lost in the dense Spider’s Web Forest (which is another of the movie’s English titles), where they meet a mysterious and androgynous old woman (Chieko Naniwa), all in white, who predicts great things for Washizu and great things for Miki's son. And sure enough, after the two warrior lords have had a bit of a giggle and are back at their castle to receive commendations for their work on the battlefield, the Emperor immediately promotes the pair of them … exactly as the white witch had predicated.

Isuzu Yamada as Asaji

The perpetually scowling Washizu, encouraged by his ambitious and scheming wife Asaji (Isuzu Yamada), yearns to make even more of the prophecy come true, even if it means killing the Emperor. And so, boil, boil, toil and trouble, the cauldron of contempt, corruption, and cold-blooded killing bubbles away, clouding their minds of any moral virtue. Greed feeds greed feeds greed

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The Thing (2011)

October 11th 2011 07:24

Where do I start? It’s Hollywood (well America and Canada, actually) fucking around with one of my all-time favourite horror movies. Rob Zombie made a dog’s breakfast of Halloween (1978), another all-time fave, and now a Dutch director and an American screenwriter are allowed to tamper with The Thing (1982), another John Carpenter masterpiece. The producers of Zack Snyder’s re-imagining of Dawn of the Dead (2004) got their mitts on the Universal rights to Carpenter’s remake (yes, a remake, but hell, so vastly different – and superior – to the Howard Hawks original), and with director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. on board helming his first feature, and screenwriter Eric Heisserer, who penned the tedious remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) and the recently released Final Destination 5 (2011), the pair pitched the idea of not a sequel to Carpenter’s movie (so MacReady and Childs remain freezing their nuts off not knowing if either is an alien), nor a remake (of a remake), but instead a prequel, telling the story of the ill-fated Norwegian base that MacReady and crew visit and find decimated.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Kate

The original prequel screenwriter, Ronald D. Moore, described The Thing (2011) as a “companion piece” to Carpenter’s. Moore’s draft was so extensively re-written by Heisserer, that he no longer receives a credit. Apparently Heisserer went back to John W. Campbell Jr’s original short story, Who Goes There? for inspiration, as well as studying Carpenter’s movie intensively so as to provide continuity, as the prequel ends with a segue scene that leads directly into Carpenter’s movie. But the irony is that The Thing prequel is as much a remake of Carpenter’s movie as it is a prequel, so as a companion piece it is very buddy-buddy howdy-doody. There are numerous scenes that mimic/replicate (ha, the irony!) Carpenter’s movie, so that it begs the question, what’s the bloody point? I felt the same way with the Hollywood remake of Let the Right One In (2008), Let Me In (2010).

The Thing Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Joel Edgerton

Derek (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and Carter (Joel Edgerton) defend themselves

But then I have to let the cynical reigns loosen a little and consider that there will be many who will watch The Thing prequel who haven’t seen Carpenter’s movie, and will no doubt find it to be an entertaining science-fiction horror, just as those who watched Let Me In, without having seen the Swedish original. Still, despite the telling of the Norwegian’s plight, there is not a lot of new material, it’s essentially re-telling the plight of the American base; hapless scientists are terrorised by a desperate, malevolent xenomorph that is able to absorb the human body and then replicate it, thus hiding and escaping detection, and creating paranoid and distrust amongst the surviving humans

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

October 5th 2011 01:53

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) have headed out to their rundown cabin in the Appalachian mountain woods for some R&R and a little fixin’ up. They may look like your average redneck hillbillies, but hell, they’re just regular guys like you and me, maybe a tad dumber, a tad more naïve. But they mean well. The less can be said of the preppy college kids looking to cut loose before returning to studies. This bunch of nine are gonna clash big time with Tucker and Dale, and they’ll be blood, sweat and tears before bedtime. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010) has taken awhile to get down under (after screening at this year’s SFF), but it’s been worth the wait! This is the best horror-comedy since Shaun of the Dead (2004).

Alan Tudyk as Tucker

Director Eli Craig wrote a screenplay on spec with buddy Morgan Jurgenson, but ended up directing his first feature as well, and he does a bang-on job too. The script is the funniest parody (on the slasher/redneck hillbilly genres) in years, and is effortless in its dynamic sense of humour and characterisations than Zombieland (2008) that tried too hard. The performances of its two leads – Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk – are a delight, as there is a genuine chemistry between them. The other standout is Jesse Moss as Chad, the college jock-cum-psychopath-bubbling- under. The rest of the cast aren’t amazing; Katrina Bowden as love interest/final girl Allison tries her hardest, but they provide adequate support.

Tyler Labine as Dale

Jessica Bowden as Allison

What works very much to Tucker & Dale vs. Evil’s favour is that it doesn’t try to be anything other than rollicking, popcorn, beer and spliffy good times, the broad, yet still clever, comedy that plays well to the horror fans as well as the date crowd. The special effects, although relying a little too much on CGI (a budgetary thing these days, as it’s cheaper to employ a clutch of computer nerds on the post end than it is to have various on-set technicians demanding take-after-take because a blood-pump seized up, or a squib didn’t explode on cue) are solid, and there is much humour to be had with some of the blood and gore effects, especially impalement, but also a chainsaws, a buzzsaw, and a big wood-chipper machine! Bring it on

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Captifs (Caged)

October 4th 2011 05:12

Three medical aid workers in former Yugoslavia leave the small town they’ve been stationed at and head for Kosovo, but are forced to take a detour. They are ambushed and kidnapped by a masked gang of rogue Serbian militants and taken to a remote homestead where they are held as prisoners in underground cells. They are fed, and their wounds are treated. Soon enough they discover their captors are organ traffickers. Caged (2010) is a French nightmare thriller with a horror undertone. Directed by Yann Gozlan and co-written by Gozlan and Guillaume Lemans.

Zoe Felix as Carole

Carole (Zoe Felix), Mathias (Eric Savin), and Samir (Arie Elmaleh) have a few drinks together on their last night working together. Samir hits on Carole, but she rebuffs him, while they watch older Mathias pick up a much younger woman. The next morning, with Samir sporting a hangover, and Mathias looking tired, the three doctors share a van where they’ll drive to Kosovo, then head off on different missions. A military roadblock forces them to take a small dirt track detour, which they assume will lead them back onto the main road, but no sooner has Carole decided to take some shuteye than the van screeches to a halt. Masked gunmen force Samir and Carole into the back of another truck. Mathias tries to escape, but is shot in the leg and dumped in with the other two captives.

Eric Savin as Mathias

Days and nights blur together as the three aid workers try to cope with their ordeal. They are held prisoner in barred cells just below ground beneath a house. Samir and Carole are in one, while Mathias is in another. Other prisoners occupy other dark cells nearby. What are their captors motives? Ransom? Killing for pleasure? A phone rings in the corridor separating the cells, and a man in a doctor’s coat answers. He’s been given orders. Samir is hauled from his cell and dragged down the corridor and through a door at the far end. Carole and Mathias can only watch helplessly. Samir is finally returned … his empty abdomen cavity and gouged eye sockets testament to the doctor’s work

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