movie reviews - Horrorphile

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This tragic piece of cosmic debris holds a special place in my cine heart, and it is a fitting week that I review it, if anything just to pay tribute to the svelte sexiness of Farrah Fawcett, because as a movie Saturn 3 (1980) is not very good. It’s deep trash; hopelessly derivative, with a clunky narrative and dodgy special effects. Yet, I can’t shake the movie. I come back to it periodically, mostly out of curiosity, as the movie has a fascinating history.

The basic plot has Benson (Harvey Keitel), a psychopath on a mission, killing Captain James (Douglas Lambert) gruesomely (with little regard for plausibility), then impersonating the astronaut. He travels to Saturn 3 (is it an asteroid or is it Titan, it’s never made clear) with his large trusty canister (which, inexplicably, wasn’t sucked out into space in the bizarre locker-room-cum-airlock). Upon arrival he introduces himself to the two neo-hippie scientists in charge of a large hydroponic research station (Earth is over-populated and food is now being sourced off-world); Adam (Kirk Douglas) and his partner Alex (Farrah Fawcett). There’s also Alex’s mutt, Sally, and a couple of service robots in the facility.

Farrah Fawcett as Alex

While contact with Earth is blocked due to a 22-day eclipse, Benson aka James makes immediate lustful eyes for Alex (hey, who wouldn’t?) and repeatedly tries, in the most uncouth and vain manner, to get into Alex’s jumpsuit, much to Adam’s restrained chagrin. While he bides his time Benson assembles and initiates the helper, Hector, the first in the "Demi-God" series of robots. Hector is an eight-foot tall humanoid hulk with red and blue liquid in tubing running from foot to head (well, actually Hector doesn’t have a head, instead a pair of electric eyes on a swivel-stick), and metal casing protecting the canister Benson brought with him which is revealed to hold a massive amount of brain tissue taken from fetuses – thus perfect for programming. However, Benson prefers to have Hector operate from direct input; a flesh-jack at the base of Benson’s neck (the so-called cortical stack, if you’ve read the brilliant sf novel Altered Carbon), thus Benson communicates and instructs Hector, brain to brain.

Kirk Douglas as Adam

Of course this means Hector is infused with Benson’s unhinged, homicidal nature, so it isn’t long before Hector is on the rampage and although Benson is accountable, the huge whirring killer-bot is out of his control. First to go is Sally. Adam manages to knock Hector out of commission, and pulls rank (he’s a Major, and believes Benson to be Captain James), ordering Benson to dis-assemble Hector and return to Earth. But Hector's brain uses a bit of “Bluetooth” hanky-panky and instructs the service robots to re-assemble the parts. Then it’s back to the terrorising game.

Harvey Keitel as Benson

Saturn 3 was the project of legendary production designer John Barry (Star Wars, Superman), who envisioned a lush and dark precautionary tale of the future. He provided the story and was the movie’s initial director. However the budget was cut back during production because of spiraling costs on Raise the Titantic! (from the same film company). According to imdb Barry was fired after creative disputes with Kirk Douglas, however I’ve also read that it was Barry's untimely death during production that led to legendary director Stanley (Singin' in the Rain) Donen take over. Donen apparently wanted to downplay the exploitation elements of the movie, so unfortunately a couple of intense scenes were cut before release: Adam and Alex killing Benson in a fantasy sequence (possibly after dropping the classic Blue Dreamer pills) and a rather gory sequence where Hector dismantles Benson’s body, which would explain the memorable shot of Hector with Benson’s severed head slotted over his/its own swivel-stick head.

Catwalk fashion production or spacecraft departure foyer?

Captain James suited up, about to die

The last quarter of the movie is incredibly clunky and the ending is very abrupt. There’s also a big jump in the narrative time-line which leaves the viewer going “Huh?”. With seven assistant directors and six assistant editors I can’t help but wonder what the movie’s original rough cut was like; no doubt far more interesting, visceral and dramatic. The screenplay was penned by renowned British author Martin Amis, although you certainly wouldn’t pick it.

Saturn 3 Harvey Keitel, Farrah Fawcett, Kirk Douglas

Benson introduces Alex and Adam to Hector

However, for all the dodgy parts of the movie there are elements that are intriguing, even cool. While the opening spacecraft sequence is shamelessly lifted wholesale from Star Wars, the font used for the title which precedes it is way funky. Benson’s approach to the asteroid/moon is B-grade indeed, but the decontamination chamber effect is visually striking. Adam and Alex’s outfits - costumes really - are risible (Farrah’s wardrobe and hair design is lifted straight from the pages of Vogue, yet her character is meant to be entirely naïve), yet Benson’s green spacesuit is very cyber-industrial-chic. The design of Hector, apparently inspired by the drawings of Da Vinci, is creepy and menacing, but unfortunately the “metal” is about as plastic-looking as you can get.

Benson instructs Hector to remove a live chip from Alex's eye

There are only three main actors (if you don’t count Douglas Lambert’s token appearance), and the performances are uniformly horrible. Not surprisingly the movie was nominated for three Golden Raspberry awards: Worst Actor (Douglas), Worst Actress (Fawcett) and Worst Movie. Kirk Douglas pulls more ridiculous facial expressions than a clown, Farrah spends more time delivering a wimpy “Uh” or “Oh” rather than her soft-spoken drivel, while Harvey Keitel appears to be sleepwalking, and, very oddly, had his voice re-dubbed by British actor Roy Dotrice. Curiously there is no complete cast list credited at the end of the movie, so Douglas Lambert is never credited, and the poor fool who stumbled around inside Hector was never given due credit.

Saturn 3 Kirk Douglas, Farrah Fawcett, Harvey Keitel

Adam challenges Hector to a game of chess

Adam gets down and dirty ...

Still, Elmer Bernstein’s score is okay, and hey, you get to see a brief glimpse of Farrah’s lovely naked breast, and then her sumptuous nude body in silhouette (which set my pubescent mind racing when I first saw it)! Mind you, you’re also subjected to 64-year-old Kirk wrestling Harvey buck naked. Yes, Saturn 3 seriously malfunctions, its body dragged around like Achilles did through Troy with the slain body of Hector; Martin Amis throwing a little literary metaphoric weight when he has Adam explain to Alex the connection. The movie was shamelessly trying to capitalise on the horror-sf success of Alien (1979), yet has none of Ridley’s expert command over look, feel, mood, and tone. Some of Hector’s robot moves are impressive executed, and the gore effects, especially the severing of Benson’s hand and Captain James’ demise, are decent, but the rest of the effects are mutton dressed as lamb (crazy to think the movie was released in a 70mm blow-up!)

... and Alex is forced to restrain him in her teddy

I think I’ve rambled enough about this piece of space junk. However I only hope one day a special edition gets released with all the deleted scenes, director’s commentary, and Harvey and/or Kirk commentary. It might sound out of place, but the movie deserves better treatment. The DVD I have is a disappointing full-frame, no frills release that has the audacity to put “Screen Classics” on the cover. Bizarre.

Even better; a remake, or should I say re-envisioning, with a bigger cast, and more adult content. I might even start work on a spec screenplay myself!

Here's the original trailer (featuring Farrah in alluring fetish attire, cut from the release):

Curious French poster

Several fonts were used for promotion, but the best was the actual title credit

Alex's ultra-stylish off-world tattoo design

Farrah Fawcett R.I.P. 1957 - 2009