Movie review of Zombies

Horrorphile

E-mail Subscription

Receive an e-mail notification of new posts on this site:

Vimu Subscription

Horrorphile - March 2007

Zombies (Wicked Little Things)

March 14th 2007 07:08

Original poster with Tobe Hooper's name still attached

Back in November of last year I wrote a post about a horror film festival screening in the States called "Horrorfest – 8 Films To Die For". I bagged out the entire thing as being nothing but a tenuous platform to showcase a bunch of low-budget flicks that should’ve gone straight to video.

One of the main reasons I scoffed at this whole line-up was the tagline that these eight films were too horrific and disturbing for theatrical release. Pull the other one ... puh-lease! This whole straight-to-DVD, so the producers can tag it "unrated" or whatever is a load of hogwash.

So, anyway, the first of these eight flicks to die for has arrived on DVD down under. The cover art is okay, the title is very ambitious: Zombies. Man, in this modern age of horror, if you’re gonna call a movie Zombies, you better have the chunky goods to back it up, or you’ll be eaten alive and spat out with rancid distaste by the hordes of True Believin’ horrorphiles.

Zombies was the movie’s original title and was to be helmed by none other than Mr. Tobe Hooper. But he dropped out and in steps J.S. Cordone, a man with a modicum of talent (he’s directed mostly TV movies or straight-to-video releases, including dire The Forsaken: Desert Vampires). The title then changes to The Children, and then finally to Wicked Little Things. For some unusual reason here in Australia we get it called Zombies aka Wicked Little Things.

The original screenplay was a kind of zombies meets Deliverance (1972) and was penned by Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch, the couple who’ve had the extraordinary honour of screenwriting Dario Argento’s upcoming La Terza Madre (The Third Mother). However the finished film is credited to unknown Ben Nedivi.

The Tunnys; mom, big sis, lil' sis, sheesh, they all look the same age!

Karen Tunny (Lori Heuring), a very young looking mother to teenage daughter Sarah (Scout Taylor-Compton) and her kid sister Emma (Chloe Moretz) move into an appallingly decrepit house (who in their right mind would actually choose to stay there?!) in the woods near Addy Town in Pennsylvania. It’s an inheritance from Karen’s dead husband.

There must be a chimney round here somewhere we can climb into!

They quickly learn of the town’s dark secret; a mining accident back near the turn of the 19th century left numerous young children, who had been used as child labour, trapped and killed. Now they return in the dead of night to seek bloody redemption or vengeance, brandishing their pickaxes and spades, thirsty for blood, devouring the wretched living (if they’re that hungry what about all the livestock??).

Ben Cross wonders what happened to his career

There’s the grumpy local (inexplicably Ben Cross of Chariots of Fire fame) who turns out to be the Tunny's saviour and then there’s the mine owner’s wealthy descendent Carlton who’s in town wanting to develop a ski resort. He’s typically selfish and pig-headed. It’s only a matter of time ‘til he gets his, but when he does it’s off-screen fer Chrissake! How damn unsatisfying to a horror audience is that?!

We're the scariest kids this side of Sesame Street, watch out!

Every cliché in the book is thrown into this movie. Every bloody single one! Did the filmmakers not have a single hair of originality on their shameless bodies? In the DVD’s EPK (Electronic Press Kit) the director explains how he wanted to add a feminine touch to this zombie film, not so that it'd be all soft, but that it wouldn’t be so gross. Say wha ..??!! Is this man an idiot? I think so.

Apparently the movie was filmed in Bulgaria, probably so they could get the kids working for next to nothing, while feeding them cold chicken livers smothered in ketchup for hours at a time (they’re flesh-eating zombies remember) and not worry about the wrath of the American Child Actor’s Union. Well, the exteriors look nice. The cinematography is atmospheric, although nearly all the horror scenes take place in pitch black night, so you can’t see jack shit.

Something tells me I'm into something baaad

To be perfectly frank Zombies is utterly pedestrian. Pity Tobe Hooper didn’t stay on board, I’m intrigued to know what he’d have done. Still, I’m morbidly curious to see how much more tedious and tame these other “8 Films To Die For” can get.

But seriously, how dare these charalatans call this movie Zombies. I’m gutted.

* images on this page are courtesy of www.upcominghorrormovies.com

Vote

Subscribe to this blog

Email this post to a friend

Go to the Orble Film Channel

Start your own blog

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Related Posts:

Relate This Post

[ Previous - An American Werewolf in London ]

[ Next - The Return of the Living Dead ]

Comments

9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by JohnDoe

March 14th 2007 08:32

Film & TV on DVD

Glad this one had slipped under my radar, sounds dull.

Comment by Cibbuano

March 14th 2007 21:47

20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak

blah... they called it 'Zombies'? And the plot sounded so horribly predictable. Exactly the type of horror movie that I have no desire to see...

Comment by Bryn

March 15th 2007 05:07

Horrorphile

One of the other "Horrorfest" flicks is The Abandoned by Mr Aftermath .... Surely that must be above average?! Tis yet to surface here on DVD though ... Unless you've already got your grubby mits on it JD ...?

Comment by Bryn

March 15th 2007 05:08

Horrorphile

Great original poster art though guys ... Especially saying "From the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ... ZOMBIES" ... just a pity it never followed through ...

Comment by JohnDoe

March 15th 2007 05:54

Film & TV on DVD

Thanks for the chill alert on The Abandoned, just looked it up and it sounds mighty....need to see if I can find a copy of this in the U.S.

Comment by charles

March 15th 2007 22:34

FanFootball
ZCars
Ponderous

Coincidentally, I saw the poster for 'Zombies' last night and was thinking "hey, that looks interesting...".

Thanks for the heads up!

Charles.

Comment by Bryn

March 16th 2007 00:37

Horrorphile

My dark pleasure Charles, nice to see you!

Comment by Anonymous

March 26th 2007 20:55

Who in the hell would actually recommend those lame ass "horrorfest" things in the US anyway? Duh.

Anyway, I'll see this anyway whenever I can rent it. Until then I'll just remain perplexed over where I've seen this before:

A mining accident back near the turn of the 19th century left numerous young children, who had been used as child labour, trapped and killed. Now they return in the dead of night to seek bloody redemption or vengeance.

Maybe Kingdom Hospital? I petered out watching it pretty early though, so I could be wrong.

-lilith

Comment by Bryn

March 27th 2007 06:31

Horrorphile

Yeah .... mind you The Abandoned looks good .... And apparently The Hamiltons is good too ... So all is not lost quite yet Lilith ....

[ Previous - An American Werewolf in London ]

[ Next - The Return of the Living Dead ]

Add A Comment

To create a fully formatted comment please click here.

CLICK HERE TO LOGIN | CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Name or Orble Tag

Home Page (optional)

Comments

Notify me of replies

Notify extra people about this comment

Is this a private comment?

List the Email Addresses or Orble Tags of the people you would like to be notified about this comment

One per line max of 30

List the Email Addresses or Orble Tags of the people you would like to be notified about this private comment thread. Only the people in this list will be able to see or reply to your comment.

One per line max of 30

Your Name
(for the email going out to the above list, it can be different to your Orble Tag)

Your Email Address

(optional)

(required for reply notification)

Submit

November 2008

2 Posts

October 2008

21 Posts

September 2008

19 Posts