Movie review of Vampyres

Horrorphile

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Vampyres - Daughters of Dracula

December 18th 2006 00:11

Oh, the Daughters of Dracula, children of the night, what sweet music they make. Music so sickly sweet it makes me gag … laugh, that is, then gag, then laugh again.

In the vein of Hammer Horror, but not nearly as “sophisticated” (muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!), this penetration into the most exploitative of the vampire premises; lesbos ladies who lunch at night, is a hysterical descent into pure, unbridled trash. You don’t get them more enjoyably worse than this.

Made in 1974 and directed by ex-pat Spaniard José Ramón Larraz (Anglo-credited as Joseph Larraz, as many foreign directors were back then to ensure as wide a distribution as possible), Vampyres (aka Daughters of Dracula) tells the very loose tale of two ghoulish beauties roaming the English countryside (not too far from their mansion retreat) with bloodlust sparkling in their European eyes. Several unattractive men (and a woman) fall prey to their diabolical thirst, but not before being ravished by the women’s insatiable desires.

Yup, this is as ripe for the plucking as they come. So, utterly simplistic in its narrative, so shoddy in its staging and absurdly over-acted in its delivery that one can’t help but guffaw from the opening bats flapping Muppet-like in the dark night air. The rest of the film is like a slow-moving car crash; you can’t help but keep watching with morbid fascination.

I’ll admit that part of the allure – as voluptuously tenuous as this allure is – was in waiting until the next scene where the two “very unnatural ladies” shed their clothes and drape themselves over beds, men and each other in the most decidedly contrived fashion. For 70s English audiences this would’ve all looked incredibly raunchy. These days, I’m afraid, it looks about as tantalizingly erotic as the pages of Punch magazine (think upper-crusty accents and coy flicking tongues). Mind you there's the odd snatch of female full-frontal thrown in for blink-and-you’ll-miss-it ooo-err! measure.

Satan's daughters of darkness unleashed!

There is plenty of scarlet blood splashed across the screen, none of it convincing gore, and there are scenes of savagery, but never anything that actually shocks. As close as it gets to anything remotely modern in its depiction of horror is in the killing of a camper at film’s end where the woman’s horrendous screeching pushes the film into a vaguely disturbing moment. But even this is over before you feel at all uncomfortable. Plus, the film up to this point has been so ridiculous and silly that the moment of horror is inadvertently drained of being anything truly upsetting.

But despite all of the movie’s technical short-comings, dramatic incompetence and unintentional humour, there is a thin atmosphere of dreamlike beguile. Director Larraz occasionally conjures a striking image, which even with its threadbare production values still throws the odd memorable shadow of flair (until the next dire line of dialogue or expression of innuendo).

Oh, sweet scarlet lips of nocturnal desire!

Vampyres is strictly for the undead completists (although these nocturnal lovers are more sensual serial killers than actual vampires), or those with a patient taste for shapely European flesh. It grapples and toys with traditional vampirism, yet intriguingly doesn’t feature many of the usual visual motifs (no fangs on display, no garlic, crosses or coffins), nor does it provide much of a pay-off either; the women “trail the aroma of love and the scent of death” to the movie’s very slight and lucklustre end.

Still, those succulent vamps; the sultry brunette Marianne Morris and the bodacious blonde Anulka, could have their wicked way with me any moonlit night of the week. Click here to see the original lewd and lascivious trailer!

* images on this page are courtesy of horrordvds.com

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Comments

10 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Adrian

December 18th 2006 00:31

Philosophy Blog

Might have to see this movie just to tell if you're being too harsh.

Vampire sex fiends -- how bad could it be?

Comment by Cibbuano

December 18th 2006 01:18

Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak

yeah, I'd watch it. What's not too like?

your pictures are very not safe for work... you need to put a warning on those!

Comment by Bryn

December 18th 2006 01:48

Horrorphile

Cibby,
Where pray tell does one actually put a warning? Sheesh, a little exposed breast tis all ....

Comment by LaurenD

December 18th 2006 03:15

Bryn,

I read this whole review with a smirk. Oh you crack me up.

The campy lesbo vamp flick under the meticulous, intelligent lens of the discerning Horrorphile.

Dyiiinn ova here. Bravo!

LaurenD

Comment by JohnDoe

December 18th 2006 03:26

Film & TV on DVD

Amusing review of a film that is funny for the wrong reasons.

As a young teen this film satsified on the obvious level, now it seems like a failed attempt at schlock greatness..

Comment by Always Eighteen

December 18th 2006 14:25

Always Eighteen

Mmm... vampire porn

Comment by Bryn

December 19th 2006 00:10

Horrorphile

Cheers guys! Yeah, tis the dubbed accents on the ladies that made me laugh the most .... That, the over-acting, and the hilarious buckin' bronco sex scene ...

Comment by K.L. Almeroth

December 19th 2006 10:44

Motherhood

Bryn,

You've seriously got me intrigued....may have to watch this one (yes, there's a horror I haven't seen...apparently)...

I love Always' comment...'Vampire porn!'

(Funnily enough, I think women (romance) writers, have hooked into vampire porn!)

K.L.

Comment by K.L. Almeroth

December 19th 2006 10:46

Motherhood

P.S. When I voted, it brought your vote count up to 69....

(Hee, hee...how appropriate)

Yes, small things amuse...

K.L.

Comment by Bryn

December 20th 2006 23:55

Horrorphile

69 .... yes, a wickedly lewd number indeed KL, and suitable for this post ... Vampire porn? Guess Anne Rice was partly responsible for that ... I have yet to read any "Anita Blake" ... I'm gonna look for her in the 2nd hand shops, no doubt pick up a few of the paperbacks for next to nothing ...

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