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"I RECOGNISE TERROR AS THE FINEST EMOTION AND SO I WILL TRY TO TERRORISE THE READER. BUT IF I CANNOT TERRIFY, I WILL TRY TO HORRIFY, AND IF I CANNOT HORRIFY, I'LL GO FOR THE GROSS-OUT. I'M NOT PROUD." --- STEPHEN KING ::::::::::::: Spoilers for plot points and resolutions can occur within my movie reviews with or without warning. Read at your own risk.

A SAD STATE of AFFAIRS

August 10th 2009 00:45
Fright Night
The latest Australian issue of Empire magazine has a short article which lists all the Hollywood remakes that are currently in development, pre-production, or production. It’s a scary list indeed, chiefly because the majority of them are horror remakes (science fiction comes a close second). But it’s not just the cheesy dumb ones; many bonafide classics are being given the royal reboot.

With the additional news of Ridley Scott signing on to helm a prequel to Alien it’s a very sad state of affairs. Nothing is sacred, no movie is considered too cool to plunder. The 80s are well and truly being exploited for the Y-generation who is being force-fed soylent cinema green by Tinseltown. You’ll be familiar with some of these titles being remade, while others will leave you shaking your head. Here’s what’s on the menu of high art and deep trash nightmare revisited:

He Knows You’re Alone (1980)
Altered States (1980)
Terror Train (1980)
Motel Hell (1980)
Mother’s Day (1980)
Escape from New York (1981)
Halloween 2 (1981)
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
The Funhouse (1981)
Scanners (1981)
Happy Birthday to Me (1981)
Hell Night (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Tron (1982)
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Poltergeist (1982)
The Thing (1982)
The Evil Dead (1983)
Videodrome (1983)
The House of Sorority Row (1983)
The Keep (1983)
Blood Simple (1984)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Teen Wolf (1985)
Re-Animator (1985)
Highlander (1986)
The Fly (1986)
Fright Night (1986)
RoboCop (1987)
The Gate (1987)
The Stepfather (1987)
Predator (1987)
Hellraiser (1987)
Angel Heart (1987)
Near Dark (1987)
Child’s Play (1988)
Night of the Demons (1988)

The Wolf Man 2009
That’s just the 80s - gee, I'm surprised Return of the Living Dead (1985) isn't being devoured, but there are dozens more being remade from the 70s, 60s and earlier, the most notable dust-off is having Benicio Del Toro as The Wolf Man (2009). There are, of course, a handful of original movies being made that I await with baited breath, for example Jennifer’s Body (2009) and Thirst (2009) - a demon and vampire respectively – which hopefully will inject fresh blood into this fetid, putrid scene.
Jennifer's Body Megan Fox


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Posted By: Bryn - Category: vitriol
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16 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Natalina

August 10th 2009 03:04


My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
Jeez, the ones I knew about had me upset enough, but there are a lot more on this list that I had no IDEA were being remade! The whole thing made me cringe, but a few made me audibly gasp:

Altered States (1980)
Clash of the Titans (1981)
Scanners (1981)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Poltergeist (1982)
Videodrome (1983) (Please God, no!)
Angel Heart (1987)
Near Dark (1987)

Now, add to this that they're remaking The Dark Crystal as an all CGI movie. Shoot me in the head.

Shit.


Comment by Christopher Waldeck

August 10th 2009 03:18


Dunk Films
Hey Horrorphile if you think that's bad news you should guess what else their remaking.

Oldboy. Will smith and Steven Speilberg. Hopefully the critics don't kiss his ass this time like they did for the last Indiana Jones movie.

If you want to know more. I've got many more and it's not good news.

Why are they remaking Videodrome. Let's hope Cronenberg can keep rights to the project so at least it doesn't get completely destroyed, or just have him refuse to loan them the rights. Remaking this movie is worse than the Wall Street bailout.

Comment by Bryn

August 10th 2009 03:40


Horrorphile
Natalina ... An American Werewolf, Blood Simple, Videodrome, Angel Heart, Near Dark ... yes, it is terrifying.

Christopher, yeah, I knew about Oldboy. Dear me.

Not sure if Cronenberg has the rights to his own movie. Which is probably why it's being remade. As is his earlier movie Scanners and latter flick the Fly (which was a re-envisioning anyway). They'll probably remake The Brood and Dead Ringers next.

Comment by Natalina

August 10th 2009 03:52


My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
As a funny aside, my brother came in while I was reading this and his reaction was "Teen Wolf? Noooooo!" Hahaha

Oldboy? Jiminey H. Christmas, WTF?

Love your Goethe quote, btw!

Comment by Bryn

August 10th 2009 03:56


Horrorphile
Including Teen Wolf amused me too. I need to review Oldboy for Cult Projections, sooner rather than later.

Comment by Tracy

August 10th 2009 04:33


Movies and Life
Yep, nothing is sacred...

Comment by Morgan Bell

August 10th 2009 13:42


Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
youre one of those people who could quit heroin, cold turkey, if you found out the kids at the mall were doing it, right?

Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth

August 10th 2009 19:48


Poetry Lighthouse
What's in a word
Time to Get Up Club
It's so sad when they make movies that really don't need to be touched, either because they were already good or just horrible the first time.

Comment by RubySoho

August 10th 2009 21:40


Music Zone
Thought Zone
it's hollywood. it's a business. i blame eli roth and the Saw guys for making horror popular again. problem is no-one can seem to come up with fresh ideas to keep the horror bandwagon rollicking along so it's a case of plundering the past to save the future of horror.

fortunately for me i don't really care for horror as a genre. there are some good horror flicks that cross over, but i am surprised to Blood Simple on that list. Don't touch the Coen Brothers man!


Comment by Bryn

August 10th 2009 23:13


Horrorphile
Morgan, is my contempt that obvious? But seriously, if the audiences weren't there for these remakes, they wouldn't be getting made.

Kristen, try telling that to the Hollywood execs!

Ruby, exactly. There's no such thing as cinema as art, it's moviemaking as revenue. Yes, the Saw franchise certainly has a lot to answer for. Hollywood has always recycled genres, but it seems that horror has been popular (again) for a while now.

Comment by Christopher Waldeck

August 10th 2009 23:28


Dunk Films
Why do they have to steal from Cronenberg. His movies were artistic works of horror.

If they remake Dead Ringers they better have a damn good director and Jeremy Irons.

We shouldn't blame the saw franchise and Eli Roth for making horror popular again. we should blame them for producing torture porn films that critics and Hollywood compares every film too.

Comment by Bryn

August 10th 2009 23:48


Horrorphile
Chris,
Cronenberg isn't the only director with a strong style. I could roll off numerous directors, suffice to say no remake of Cronenberg will come anywhere close to the visceral, existential intensity of his movies.

"Torture porn" movies have been around for ages, but El Roth was credited with re-booting it. It's all about the re-boot. Ho-hum.

Comment by katyzzz

August 12th 2009 08:35


Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
EEE.eee..e....eeeeekkkkkk and she's so UGLY. Not like me. How much did you pay all these folks to comment, I can't catch a fish for love nor money.

Comment by JohnDoe

August 12th 2009 20:29


Film & TV on DVD
Just a like a solar eclipse I try never to look directly at a list like this....

I used to always say of you are going to remake a film, then at least remake a bad one...now its seems i will have to add a clause about remaking bad remakes

Comment by Bryn

August 13th 2009 01:06


Horrorphile
JD, haha ... yeah ... there are several titles on there that are really scary, and I'm not talking about a remake of Mother's Day.

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