Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | My Orble | Login
 
"I RECOGNISE TERROR AS THE FINEST EMOTION AND SO I WILL TRY TO TERRORISE THE READER. BUT IF I CANNOT TERRIFY, I WILL TRY TO HORRIFY, AND IF I CANNOT HORRIFY, I'LL GO FOR THE GROSS-OUT. I'M NOT PROUD." --- STEPHEN KING ::::::::::::: Spoilers for plot points and resolutions can occur within my movie reviews with or without warning. Read at your own risk.

Horrorphile - November 2009

Fright Night

November 30th 2009 22:58
Fright Night movie poster
Back in the day of big hairdos and silly expressions, back in the day when vampires could turn into fake-looking bats and best friends into funny-looking werewolves, back in the day when a neighbour’s sexual orientation was decidedly camp, yet still masculine enough to confuse the hell out of you, back in the day when Roddy McDowell was still considered a bankable character actor, Chris Sarandon was a definite heartthrob, someone somewhere thought Williams Ragsdale would grow up to be a huge one.

Fright Night Chris Sarandon
Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandridge ... with nameless victim
Tom Holland’s Fright Night (1985) was a very successful comedy horror that, like The Lost Boys (1986), has aged endearingly; yes it’s dated, yes it’s silly, yes it’s unashamedly 80s in look and feel, but more importantly its self-consciousness actually works in its favour, the pacing is terrific, there is an oddball element that shines through, and much of the special effects work is really pretty impressive.

Fright Night William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowell
William Ragsdale as Charlie and Roddy McDowell as Peter Vincent
Teenager Charlie Brewster (William Ragsdale) lives alone with his divorced mother Judy (Dorothy Fielding). He’s an eager horrorphile, but best buddy Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys). The new neighbour Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon) and his companion Billy Cole (Jonathon Stark) are very odd, and Charlie immediately susses Jerry’s true identity: he’s a vampire!

Fright Night Chris Sarandon
Jerry shows his true colours
But no one believes him! Not his mother, not his girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse), not the police, not even Ed, and when he tries to get Peter Vincent, local celebrity host of TV’s late night Fright Night show, to help him, Vincent is none too impressed. That is until after Vincent (along with Amy and Ed) decides to humour Charlie and discovers Dandridge has no reflection. Now it’s up to Charlie and Vincent to destroy the vampire and his minion before the undead destroy them! Of course there’ll be tears before dawn!
Fright Night Amanda Bearse
Amanda Bearse as Amy
Fright Night Stephen Geoffreys
Stephen Geoffreys as Evil Ed
Fright Night is a hoot-and-a-half, great popcorn viewing, and leans a little on the guilty pleasure side of things. It’s not really scary, but it possessing an endearing spookiness. The prosthetic special effects makeup work is very impressive in certain scenes; most notably the extraordinary transformation of Evil Ed into a whimpering werewolf (little did you know that actor Stephen Geoffrey made the decision in the early 90s to abandon mainstream Hollywood and re-invent himself as a hardcore gay porn actor called Sam Ritter). Amanda Bearse (who two years later would enjoy a decade’s television work as a nosy neighbour on Married With Children) becomes the fixture of Dandridge’s affections (despite the curious homosexual undertones), and her hairdo suffers drastically.
Fright Night Amanda Bearse
Amy gets hungry
Meanwhile Roddy continues to act mostly with his large plaintive eyes, like he did for all those years in the Planet of the Apes movies and television series, and Chris Sarandon gets to curl his finger extensions, bat his eyelashes and look like he’s modeling hair gel and shoulder pads for GQ. Yes, as I keep mentioning, Fright Night is shamelessly stuck headfast in the decade that is so hot right now with the Y-Gen. But it’s good harmless fun, and best enjoyed with a bunch of mates, especially if you’re a little longer in the fang, er, tooth, and keen for a retro chortle or two.
Fright Night werewolf
Evil Ed finds his tail between his legs
Director Tom Holland handles everything with an assured hand. A lame sequel came out a couple of years later. Holland would go on to direct another 80s classic, of a darker hue: Child’s Play (1988). Both movies are part of the countless number of 70s and 80s cult faves and classics being remade; Child’s Play due out next year, and Fright Night due in 2011. Fright Night remake will be all CGI effects, up-and-coming stars and starlets, a couple of cameos, but won’t possess any of the original’s undead joie de vive.

Here's the trailer:

71
Vote
   


True Blood (first season)

November 30th 2009 00:09
True Blood (first season) DVD cover art
Finally got around to watching the first season of True Blood, the marvelous series from Alan Ball, who created the series Six Feet Under and also penned the screenplay to the brilliant American Beauty. All Ball's works (including his controversial feature Towelhead aka Nothing is Private) deal potently with dysfunctional relationships and the bittersweet ironies that bind our lives. He’s one of the most interesting, and entertaining, screenwriters in Hollywood.

Superbly melding high drama and soap operatic spoof on a precarious edge that teeters dangerously close to absurdism, yet never loses balance, True Blood is locked in a richly-etched realm of mythology and character study; small town hypocrisy, social political satire, vampirism, and the addiction they call love and honour. Louisiana is where the action lies, where the sweet sweat and languid accents trickle and flow, where a modern world is entrenched in olde ways, where vampires live freely amongst mortals, yet strive for the same rights and battle prejudice, indulge wayward fangbangers, and compromise with bottled fake blood known as Tru Blood, whilst V (vampire blood) is an illicit euphoric drug humans sometimes dabble in. Welcome to Bon Temps, USA.
True Blood Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer
Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse and Stephen Moyer as Bill Compton
It’s been two years since vampires “came out of the coffin” on national television. Anna Paquin plays Sookie Stackhouse, pretty and naïve waitress at Merlotte’s bar and grill. She has the supernatural ability to be able to hear other’s thoughts, but not vampire’s. Her boss is handsome Sam (Sam Trammell), and her colleagues are foxy Dawn (Lynn Collins), dizzy Arlene (Carrie Preston), cocky camp cook Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), and grumpy new bargirl Tara (Rutina Wesley). Sookie lives with her sweet grandmother Adele (Lois Smith), and her older brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten), a hunky dumb ladies man who is always getting into trouble. Enter Bill (Stephen Moyer), a vampire who fought with the Confederacy in the Civil War when he was still human.
True Blood cast promo pic
Rene (Michael Raymond James), Bill, Jason (Ryan Kwanten), Sookie, Tara (Rutina Wesley), Hoyt (Bill Parrack), Arlene (Carrie Preston), and Sam (Sam Trammell)
True Blood Nelsan Ellis
Nelsan Ellis as the hilarious Lafayette
Based on a series of novels centred around Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris and made for American cable channel HBO Alan Ball has applied the same very successful formula that he did with Six Feet Under (and as David Lynch also did nearly twenty years ago with Twin Peaks); after setting up the series writing and directing the pilot and providing the teleplays for the next two episodes (and returning to direct the season finale), he sits back and allows a small pool of rotating writers and directors to continue in the vein. Most of the entire first season is lifted from Harris’s first novel Dead Until Dark. The calibre of the show is very high and includes John Dahl and Nick Gomez, two excellent movie directors, sensational casting, and the kind raunchy, unbridled sexuality not seen on television before. Bon Temps is positively hot-blooded!
True Blood vampire and fangbanger
A fangbanger gets her just desserts
Apart from the relationship complications there’s a serial killer at loose, and it is this plot thread that provides much of the tension that keeps viewers guessing right up until the final episode, number thirteen, You’ll Be The Death Of Me. Not that the episode titles are credited on screen, but each one is named after a Christian or popular song. The opening credit sequence is wonderfully evocative, both with the Southern twanged song Bad Things by Jace Evertt and the evangelist/grindhouse imagery (in much the same way as Six Feet Under was stylised and utterly memorable).
True Blood Ryan Kwanten, Lizzy Caplan, Stephen Root
Jason and his V-junkie lover Amy (Lizzy Caplan) with undead prisoner Eddie (Stephen Root)
Each episode finishes in a cliffhanger moment, and begins immediately after in the subsequent episode maintaining a heightened urgency to the storytelling, yet still possessing that laid-back soap stylistic of the immediate here and now. Like Six Feet Under each episode features a different song or piece of music over the end credits. By the end of the series the mystery of the killer has been revealed, but several new story threads have been ignited. The character surprises have kept viewers fascinated, you never know if one of your favourites might bite the dust!
True Blood Alexander Skarsgard
Alexander Skarsgard as dark vampire heavyweight Eric Northman
Rutina Wesley replaced Brook Kerr after two episodes had been filmed (her scenes re-shot), and Wesley has received a lot of criticism for her portrayal, not only of a Southerner, but of a black Southerner. Tara certainly has one of the funniest roles on the show. I have more trouble with Anna Pacquin’s accent than Wesley’s, but then I’m not from Louisiana, and I know Paquin was raised as a Kiwi. Then again, Ryan Kwanten, an Aussie, sounds like he does a pretty good job on the Southern twang. Not to forget the convincing prickly Cajun drawl spoken by Rene (Michael Raymond James). I think Sam Trammell is the only actor from Louisiana.
True Blood Tru Blood advertising
True Blood drips with delicious style, oozes with edgy and/or endearing characters, and bites with sensational wit, not to mention the lashings of sex and profanity, and of course, the undead horror (the scene where Bill bursts from the ground to ravish Sookie is a series highlight). This show - in a single episode - puts the anemic adolescence of the Twilight saga to shame, and eats the other small screen show The Vampire Diaries for dinner. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into the second season out soon on DVD!

Here's the classic opening credit sequence:


Here's the promo for the first season:


63
Vote
   


Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

November 26th 2009 23:40
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein movie poster
The interesting thing about art – movies, to be precise - is that the viewer gets older, wiser, and ultimately either less tolerant or more tolerant of the things that grated on them aesthetically in their younger days. Movies don’t change, people do. So it can be interesting to revisit a movie you saw many moons ago to see if your attitude toward it has changed at all. Our favourite movies we revisit time and time again (especially if you’re a shameless cinephile like myself), and for the most part those movies remain in our clutch of darling cinema examples, occasionally a movie long loved slips down a few rungs on the ladder of appreciation, another moves up a few spots. It is rarer to revisit a movie one disliked to see if perhaps it was the grumpy mood you were in when you saw it or you were simply being too harsh a critic.

I saw Kenneth Branagh’s adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) when it first came out. I hated it. I loathed almost everything about it. I wasn’t a fan of Branagh, although I had enjoyed Dead Again. I had read Frankenstein, and although I love the premise and some key moments, I find the novel is a difficult, tedious read (Bram Stoker’s Dracula, on the other hand, despite its own literary trappings, is a brilliant novel). James Whale’s famous Hollywood version of Frankenstein (1931) doesn’t follow the novel faithfully at all, and nearly every movie version since has resisted trying to adapt the novel closely (basically it doesn’t lend itself to a conventional movie narrative).
Mary Shelly's Frankenstein Kenneth Branagh and Helena Bonham Carter
Kenneth Branagh as Frankenstein and Helena Bonhan Carter as Elizabeth
Kenneth Branagh, coming off the back the success of his second Shakespeare movie Much Ado About Nothing, decided it was high time to prove his literary dynamism by tackling one of the most revered horror novels of all time, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus, first published in 1818. As Francis Ford Coppola had done with his reasonably faithful adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula, by including the author’s name as part of the title, Branagh decided he’d do the same, to highlight that his version would be the definitive version. Oh woe betide him!
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein Robert De Niro
Robert De Niro as The Creature
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past century (and if you’re a vampire you may very well have), the basic plot to Frankenstein goes like this: Victor Frankenstein, a promising chemist, decides after the tragic death of his mother, to bring life to the inanimate. He studies galvanism and constructs a golem of a man from dead body parts which he brings to life. The creature escapes its confines and flees to the countryside where it seeks friendship, but ends up committing murder. Later Frankenstein and his creation are reunited and the creature demands a mate out of desperate loneliness. Frankenstein eventually marries his cousin Elizabeth, but the creature, out of jealousy and revenge, kills her, and so Frankenstein sets off in pursuit of his damned sharp-featured man, ending up in the Arctic Circle. The novel is book-ended with the narrative of Captain Walton, an explorer who happens upon a weary Frankenstein in hot-cold pursuit, offers him sustenance and listens to his story. The creature makes an appearance as Frankenstein dies of exhaustion, and decides to destroy itself upon a funeral pyre.
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein Kenneth Branagh and John Cleese
Waldman (John Cleese) shows Frankenstein a few choice cuts
Branagh does follow much of the novel closely, but he drops the ball from the beginning and proceeds for the next two hours to indulge in some of the most bloated, self-indulgent and pretentious drivel ever put on the big screen. Having had to endure a second viewing of this monstrously dreadful movie I can now confidently say it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and is a pet hate (up with Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element). Everything about Branagh’s production reeks of triteness and smacks of self-importance. The performances are dodgy, the casting is just wrong, most notably Branagh in the eponymous lead, John Cleese as Professor Waldman and Robert De Niro as The Creature (despite being under a lot of prosthetics, including a scarred body suit, and saying very little), the screenplay is littered with unnecessary moments, especially the love scene between Frankenstein and Elizabeth during the movie’s climax (it might be a pacing climax, but a sexual interlude was entirely ill-conceived).
mary Shelley's Frankenstein Kenneth Branagh
Branagh subjects the viewers to a buffed-up Victor
The sweeping camerawork and lush production design is over-the-top and incongruous, there is no sense of the novel’s Gothic origins, and the forced melodrama is jarring (and made me want to retch). I could go on and on about what I find wretched about Branagh’s Frankenstein, but I’m not going to waste your time. I wish David Cronenberg had made his version like he was rumoured to be planning to do during the early-to-mid 90s. Of note; Coppola had originally intended to make Frankenstein as a companion piece to Dracula, but instead handed over the reigns to Branagh. After viewing a rough cut he insisted Branagh cut the first half hour, but Branagh refused and Coppola publicly denounced the movie. Branagh originally wanted Emma Thompson, his then wife, to play Elizabeth (dear Christ, now that would have been insufferable!), but instead cast Helena Bonham Carter, and subsequently fell in love with her.
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein Kenneth Branagh
In the movie's one good shot The Creature mourns his creator
Mary Shelley surely would’ve turned in her grave had she been privy to what Branagh did to her story. He dressed it up as a pantomime doll and proceeded to dance around with it like a pompous adolescent. Apparently there exists a workprint with graphic gore cut out to ensure the movie got an “R” rating. Even if I got my hands on that copy I doubt I could put myself through the torture of re-watching Kenneth’s diatribe. On a final note, I sure as hell hope Guillermo Del Toro’s production (in development, due 2012) does the story Gothic, visceral, tragic, atmospheric justice!
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein movie poster
Trust me this is fair warning indeed!


Here's the trailer:

78
Vote
   


Antichrist

November 26th 2009 00:16
Antichrist movie poster
Let me weep over
my cruel fate,
And that I long for freedom!

[ Click here to read more ]
82
Vote
   


Dead Set

November 24th 2009 01:31
Dead Set DVD cover art
Now this was a fantastic surprise! I’d heard nothing of this UK mini-series, Dead Set (2008) which aired on British television in October 2008, and is currently airing on Australian television. It was coincidental that I was watching the Madman/SBS released DVD of all five episodes on the same day the first double-length (40-minute) episode screened. This is superior free-to-air television, and I have to say, the best zombie teleplay since Zack Snyder’s version of Dawn of the Dead (2004). It is a deliberate homage to George Romero’s zombie apocalypse, whilst also paying tribute to Snyder’s vision, and to the hell on earth depicted in the 28 Days/Weeks Later movies.
Dead Set Big Brother contestants
Big Brother contestants
It's eviction night on the production and broadcast of reality show Big Brother, and a zombie plague is closing in; the curse of the undead spreading like wildfire across Britain, and no doubt the rest of the world. The surviving contestants inside Big Brother house have no idea what is going on in the real world. Kelly (Jaime Winstone), a production runner, is caught up in the chaos. We assume she’s our Final Girl.
Dead Set Jaime Winstone
Jaime Winstone as Kelly
The reality show’s producer Patrick (Andy Nyman) is a prime prick, a genuine arsehole, a wanker. He’ll get his, don’t you worry; he has to, no one this nasty gets away with the crap he dishes out. Then there’s Davina McCall (the real UK Big Brother presenter), current evictee Pippi (Kathleen McDermott) and the remaining six contestants; Space (Adam Deacon), Veronica (Beth Cordingly), Joplin (Kevin Eldon), Grayson (Raj Ghatak), Angel (Chizzy Akudolu), and Marky (Warren Brown). There’s also Kelly’s boyfriend Riq (Riz Ahmed), and Alex (Liz May Brice), both on the outside, trying to survive


[ Click here to read more ]
66
Vote
   


Trailer Park of Terror

November 23rd 2009 00:09
Trailer Park of Terror DVD cover art
The hillbilly’s revenge a la 2000 Maniacs (1964), Trailer Park of Terror (2008) is based on the Imperium Comics publication and concerns a bunch of zombie rednecks in the middle of a trucker’s triangle somewhere deep in the Georgia south. Lead by buxom suicide blonde Norma (Nichole Hiltz), this nasty motley crew is hellbent on havin’ some fun with the hapless teenage delinquents and their Vertical Trinity pastor who end up at the trailer park in the midst of a torrential downpour.

Norma is the hostess with the mostess, until her face slips while riding cowgirl on the sinful pastor Lewis (Matthew Del Negro). He looks a little upset and confused, and Norma decides she wants some head. The rest of the trailer park zombies rear their ugly mugs and chow down on the fresh meat


[ Click here to read more ]
67
Vote
   


Innocent Blood aka A French Vampire in America
With the New Moon upon us, and the scourge that is the Twilight Saga sucking the vampire and werewolf sub-genres dry of any truly palpable supernatural menace and carnality, it was time to unleash my own definitive selection of vampire movies (and a clutch of werewolf ones too). No doubt there’ll be a few frilly collars ruffled and a few pale cheeks reddened with rage, as I completely disregard any vampire movie that dares to dance around in tight pants and a self-important, angst-ridden gaze.

Have I actually seen Twilight (2008)? No, of course I haven’t, it’s not my cup of adolescent, melodramatic romantic twaddle; I call a spade a spade, and Twilight needs burying. Of course by the middle of next week New Moon will probably have broken some kind of box office record, and that’s sweet irony


[ Click here to read more ]
90
Vote
   


MATURE CONTENT
   


Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

November 16th 2009 02:00
Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust movie poster
An American-Japanese-Hong Kong co-production, Vampire Hunter D (2000) is often called Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, so as not to confuse it with the original Japanese feature Kyûketsuki Hantâ D (1985) AKA Vampire Hunter D. But aside from being anime movies, the central character, D (short for Donleal), and the title, the movies are worlds apart in style and effectiveness.

Both movies are set in the far distant future (the 121st Century to be precise). In the original D is hired by a woman, Doris, who has been bitten by Count Magnus Lee after she trespasses in his domain whilst hunting marauding demons. Fearing for her life she enlists the services of the man known as “D” in order to hunt down the evil vampire. The movie was directed by Toyoo Ashida based on the novel Kyuuketsuki Hantaa D by Hideyuki Kikuchi. The Japanese-language version is much better than the American dub (made at the time), but unfortunately the movie has dated badly; the animation is simplistic, the storytelling is pedestrian, the tone uneven, and it’s frequently just downright silly


[ Click here to read more ]
57
Vote
   


FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH, TWENTY-OH-NINE

November 12th 2009 23:50
Suspiria movie poster detail
What is the state of the modern horror movie? What is there to be thankful for? What is there to look forward to? Are we in a time of progression or recession? Will the Darkness always be there?

The genre of horror in the history of cinema began in Germany, during the Expressionist Movement, and arguably was heralded – and still championed - with the release of Robert Weine’s oneiric tale of a crazed doctor and his somnambulist killer, the feature The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919


[ Click here to read more ]
45
Vote
   


Black Water

November 11th 2009 23:31
Black Water movie poster
Nominated seven times in three categories (Best Editing, Best Actress and Best Director) at the three major Australian film awards (AFI, IF, FCCA), and eventually winning Best Director and Best Cinematography at Melbourne Underground Film Festival, Black Water (2007) is a superbly made low-budget horror-thriller that opts for suspense rather than gore, and brilliantly integrates real croc footage instead of using CGI or animatronic crocodiles (which most other croc movies in the past have done).

Co-writers and co-directors David Nerlich and Andrew Traucki have fashioned a lean, mean fighting machine; a massive Northern Territorial rogue crocodile and pitted three (make that four) pitiful humans against it in the swampy mangroves where the water is as black and murky as the devil’s backside. It’s a essentially a three-hander (there’s only five speaking parts in the whole movie); Grace (Diana Glen), her fiancé Adam (Andy Rodoreda), and her younger sister Lee (Maeve Dermody) head off on a much-needed holiday, but end up spending most of their time up a tree with a hungry croc snapping at their heels


[ Click here to read more ]
36
Vote
   


Dèmoni 2: L'incubo Ritorna

November 10th 2009 22:50
Demons 2 DVD cover art
Arrrrgh! The Nightmare Returns! Lamberto Bava continued his assault on the American market with more and less of the same; more demonic chaos and mayhem, but less gore and style. Demons 2 (1986) is set almost exclusively within the confines of a high-rise apartment block in Rome - but Cronenberg’s Shivers (1975), this is not! - The demon energy released via a movie in a cinema in the first Demons (1985) movie is unleashed again, only this time from a movie playing on television, with the first demon pushing through the fabric of the screen - but Cronenberg’s Videodrome, this is not! - and into the apartment of disgruntled birthday girl Sally (Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni) who promptly turns into a maniacal taloned hellraiser and proceeds to kill as many of her annoying birthday guests as possible. Meanwhile her infected blood, and all the infected blood of those whom she scratches and rips, seeps through the floorboards and into apartments below, causing further spread of the demonic contagion.
Demons 2 Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni
Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni as Sally demonified
Whereas Demons was saturated in style, mood, tone and atmosphere, yet devoid of much logic, reasoning, rationale or sense, the sequel Demons 2 seems to have abandoned most of that gloriously vivid oneiric quality which is part and parcel with most of producer/co-writer Argento’s supernatural descents, yet retains the proverbial insanity. Some of the atmosphere is present, the occasional moment of inspired visual lunacy, but it’s as if American distributors instructed Bava to tone back the graphic gore and in its place Bava piled on the formaggio. Yup, Demons 2 is one hell of a cheesy flick, so ludicrously absurd one can only guffaw. This isn’t a scary movie, it’s silly, dripping ketchup, gherkin jelly and processed cheese all over the floor.
Demons 2 demonic grins

[ Click here to read more ]
71
Vote
   


WILDERNESS looks wild!

November 10th 2009 09:57
Orble movie colleague Jason King over at Salty Popcorn sent me the link to a fantastic looking trailer to new American horror-thriller Wilderness which is still in post-production and will be released in 2010.

I discovered whilst looking into the release dates another horror movie called Wilderness, a UK production which was released in 2006. That looks quite good too. It stars Sean Pertwee and deals with violent juvenile delinquents sent to an island as punishment, only to find the island is inhabited with something much more terrifying than each other


[ Click here to read more ]
106
Vote
   


The Final Destination

November 9th 2009 23:03
The Final Destination movie poster
Nothing new here … Oh, wait, yes there is, the fourth in the cheating death series, The Final Destination (2009), also known as Final Destination 4: Death Trip, is presented in the current hi-tech 3D. So specialised that the glasses I was initially given didn’t work, they were IMAX 3D glasses, not intended for regular screenings. Thankfully that was during a 3D trailer and not the main movie, but still, a nuisance.

WARNING! CONTAINS SPOILERS!
[ Click here to read more ]
61
Vote
   


The Hills Run Red

November 6th 2009 01:32
The Hills Run Red movie poster
Great title, but oh, what a piece of crap movie; The Hills Run Red (2009) is one of those annoyingly pretentious movies that aims to be savage and extreme, whilst playing with sub-genres (slasher flick-cum-torture-porn-cum-mo vie-within-a-movie) and expectations, yet slits its own throat of plausibility from the get-go, leaving the corpse to become utterly bloated with satirical self-importance. This is no laughing matter; the movie fails on almost every level.

The only thing I can recommend it for is Sophie Monks’ tits, and yes, I’m being facetious. Monks spends a surprising amount of time exposing her natural, luscious bust, and for fans of the ex-pat Aussie, it seems she’s dead keen on scuttling any sweetness she might have once possessed. But enough about Monks’ assets, she can act, and her role isn’t perfunctory, but the movie’s dead in the water even before she attempts her lame lap-dance


[ Click here to read more ]
33
Vote
   


Strigoi

November 5th 2009 22:09
Strigoi movie poster
If you like your vampire mythology pungent and filthy, cloaked in the authentic ethnic threads of Eastern European sensibility, and sans the usual toothy, suave trappings of most of the fanged vehicles out of Tinseltown, then the highly original, far-from-British UK production Strigoi (2008) - which screened last Friday at the inaugural Fantastic Planet international film festival as part of their Halloween indulgence, along with Zombieland (2009) and Infestation (2009) which screened on the Saturday night, but I was unable to attend – will most definitely be an undead surprise worth digging for.

Writer/director Faye Jackson (a pleasant change having a woman at the helm of a horror feature, whose husband is Romanian) has made a decidedly unromantic, downbeat, morbidly humorous, and deceptively unsettling take on the vampire flick. Strigoi (the Romanian word given to the blood-thirsty undead) are forever returning to seek justice for wrongdoings against their former living selves. They have quite the appetite too, and not just for plasma and the red stuff; these smelly, dirty creatures will eat you out of house, home, and when they’ve emptied your pantry, they’ll finally settle on the side of your neck


[ Click here to read more ]
36
Vote
   


Trick 'r Treat

November 5th 2009 03:18
Trick 'r Treat movie poster
I got to this release a little too late (it got to my local video store only this week). As it turns out Trick 'r Treat (2008) has suffered its own belated troubles. Originally slated for release Stateside way back in October 2007, but Warner Bros. pulled it at the last minute, perhaps for fear of Saw IV chewing up its box office. It was moved to an October 2008 release, and then postponed again ‘til early 2009, but still no official release. After numerous appearances at horror festivals around the world from late 2008 into 2009, it finally went straight-to-DVD for Halloween just passed.

It must be strange for filmmakers and actors having a “current” release of work they completed two or three years earlier. It’s the nature of the beast, but movies with this kind of high calibre production values and quality cast don’t usually get shelved for so long, especially when there’s nothing actually wrong with the movie. Trick ‘r Treat is an anthology movie; four (well five actually, if you count the flashback-yarn within one of the stories) tales set in a modest festive town where All Hallow’s Eve and the age-old American tradition of donning a costume and trick-or-treating is embraced with exuberance


[ Click here to read more ]
55
Vote
   


Blood: The Last Vampire

November 3rd 2009 23:16
Blood: The Last Vampire poster art
Japan, 1966, and the American-occupied Yokota Air Force base is about to mobilised, as the United States is on the brink of the Vietnam War. But a threat much worse than human soldiers lies lurking within the walks of the compound’s High School: Chiropterran demons; savage beasts in the guise of humans. One mysterious young woman, in the disguise of a schoolgirl, is the U.S. Government’s only hope. She’s the last of her kind, and has been brought in especially by a top-secret covert team to destroy the supernatural force. Who is she? What is she? Will she succeed?
Blood: The Last Vampire Yokota air base
Originally intended to be the middle part of an anime trilogy Blood: The Last Vampire (2000) ended up being the only part filmed and released due to a lack of time and money. The result is a curious, but deeply resonant featurette. In fact at only 45 minutes running time it barely even qualifies as a featurette, as there are some short films that run almost as long, and most television episodes clock in at around 50-odd minutes. Still, despite its paper-thin plotting, it’s a tight, super-stylish, at times genuinely creepy, three-quarters of an hour.
Blood: The Last Vampire Saya
Saya (voiced by Youki Kudoh) is a moody, feisty character indeed. It’s a pity not more of her background is explained, but one can only presume that was all revealed in the mini-series’ first episode. Of course this only deepens the prevailing mystery. Saya, in her plaits and school uniform, is apparently a very-old vampire, not that you’d know guess it (apart from the title). She comes across more like an adolescent bully armed with a samurai sword. She uses her supernatural powers sparingly, relying on animal instinct, superhuman strength and agility only when needed. And boy, she needs them, as her adversaries are massively powerful themselves, and very nasty to boot. They shape-shift from their human foil into prehistoric-looking gargoyles with huge bat-like wings, skeletal snouts and no doubt horrendous breath


[ Click here to read more ]
55
Vote
   


Horror QUIZ #29: Mastermind Series - V

November 2nd 2009 23:05
I've waited for you a long time
Another installment in the tougher line of my quizzes: the Mastermind Series. And this time around it's quotations. You need to identify two things. What movie is the line of dialogue from? What’s the full credited name of the character that said it? Sound like a walk in the park? You might stroll off okay, but trust me; the path gets rockier further down the track.

1. “I'm running this monkey farm now Frankenstein and I wanna know what the fuck you’re doing with my time?!
[ Click here to read more ]
20
Vote
   


More Posts
5 Posts
12 Posts
12 Posts
720 Posts dating from August 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Bryn
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]