September 2009 - Horrorphile

Horrorphile

follow this blog subscribe by email

342 followers

5554 daily readers

rank of 1

Horrorphile - September 2009

The NIGHTMARES on ELM STREET and in HADDONFIELD remade!

September 30th 2009 00:08

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) teaser movie poster

A good seven months before its release comes the trailer to the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), produced by supertrash producer Michael Bay (uh-oh), directed by Samuel Bayer, a music clip director (another dubious sign), and co-written by Wesley Strick, who penned the screenplays to Arachnophobia (1984), Martin Scorsese’s Cape Fear (1991), and Wolf (1994), and Eric Heisserer, who is currently on board the re-remake of The Thing (2010).

Freddy Krueger is played by Jackie Earle Hayley, who looks more like a child-murderer than Robert Englund, and actually played a pedophile in the drama Little Children. However his voice doesn’t possess the same nightmarish tone (but that’s after years of Englund’s voice echoing along the cult fabric of our cine dreams). Relative unknown Rooney Mara plays the role of Nancy.

From the slick-looking teaser trailer there are numerous shots lifted straight from Wes Craven’s original, an 80s cult classic, and seminal in the horror cinema dreamscape. Why bother? This kind of blatant laziness really pisses me off. The vaguely interesting element, however, is what looks like more narrative based around Krueger’s atrocities which lead to his demise at the hands of grief and rage-stricken parents. This back-story was provided in pieces through the duration of the A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) movies. I don’t have a problem with this important part of Krueger’s character history as it was injected early on in the series, whereas I have a big problem with Rob Zombie providing massive back story to Michael Myers in his Halloween re-boots, when none existed in the original movies. It smacks of creative licence bullshit. But I’m a purist.

... and his name is Rob Zombie

Essentially Freddy Krueger was a psychopathic killer who was transformed into a relentless demon by the intense rage of his victims’ parents. As far as I’m concerned Michael Myers was the seemingly supernatural embodiment of the boogeyman, but he was killed at the end of the Halloween II (1981).

The biggest and most crucial problem with both these remakes is that neither of the villains is actually that scary anymore. Countless sequels have reduced these once seminal horror icons into parodies. I’m a little longer in the tooth, so perhaps any Gen-Y and younger who haven’t seen the originals (as rare as that may be) may find the movies genuinely frightening, but somehow I doubt it. The original Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Jason Voorhees characters are firmly etched into the modern horror consciousness. No remake will ever re-invent them as vividly as they were when they first started slashing victims to pieces back in the late 70s and into the 80s.

Here’s the teaser trailer for A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010):

Here’s the trailer to Rob Zombie’s dreadful looking Halloween II (2009), which was released in America last month (not sure of a release date for Australia, but probably straight-to-DVD):

And here’s a link to the H2 trailer that shows Sheri Moon Zombie as Deborah Myers (oh, he’s got another sister??), which makes the movie appear even worse than the crap I’m sure it is!

Vote

Comments (7)

Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: bait

Email this Post to a Friend

THE MOST BONE-CRUNCHING, GUT-MUNCHING ZOMBIE FLICKS EVER!

September 29th 2009 22:41

Movie critics love making film lists. I love making lists, period. There are dozens of lists claiming the best ever zombie, werewolf and vampire movies. After viewing the list of the ten greatest zombie movies compiled by Billy Chainsaw at cult fetish magazine Bizarre, and finding his selection left chunks to be desired, I decided it was about bloody time I spilled my own dark blood on the fleshy matter.

The Bizarre list is in no particular order (always the safe option, but a bit of an opinionated cop-out if you ask me), and it’s only half as visceral as a top ten list should be; basically it simply isn’t hardcore enough. Call me old-fashioned, but zombie movies should kick fucking ass, and rip bloody shreds. Here's their selection:

Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Dead Snow (2008)
Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979)
I Walked With a Zombie (1943)
Re-Animator (1985)
Versus (2000)
[REC] (2007)
The Plague of the Zombies (1966)
White Zombie (1932)
Pontypool (2008)

You can view a clip and read a brief splurge from each movie on Bizarre’s list here. I Walked with a Zombie and White Zombie are more dusty boogeyman flicks, atmospheric, but hardly intense. Versus is more martial arts hybrid than anything else, and Pontypool is novel, but too intellectual for its own damn good. And, arguably, Romero should really have more than one entry, don’t you think? Okay. So now here’s my greatest zombie flicks ever: soaked in atmosphere, drenched in gore. Curiously I included more comedies than I thought I would (five in fact!), but none quite as plain ridiculous as Dead Snow. Just quietly, but I couldn’t constrict my selection to ten; I had to go with my Horrorphile rule of 13, hey, my prerogative. So, in no particular order … well, actually …

Day of the Dead (1985)
Still the last word; an ominous, apocalyptic tour-de-force, and the darkest day of horror the world has ever known.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)
The first “modern” horror movie and it eats most others for breakfast … even in black and white.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Probably the cleverest and funniest horror comedy ever made.

[REC]/Quarantine (2007/2008)
A claustrophobic and inventive Spanish shocker coupled with a rarely superb Hollywood remake (made less than a year later) that takes the severed limb and runs with it.

Braindead (1992)
I worked on this piece of splat-stick low-budget brilliance so I’m a little biased, but hey, its claim of being the most over-the-top zombie flick is fair call.

Re-Animator (1985)
Back in the days when the MPAA weren’t quite sure what the hell was going on, Stuart Gordon was indeed raising hell.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)
The first seriously good Hollywood remake since John Carpenter blew the roof off with his take on The Thing (1982).

Planet Terror (2006)
Robert Rodriguez’s passionate tribute to the grime-infested glory days of the grindhouse cinema sessions is an oozing, chuck(le)-fest.

28 Weeks Later (2007)
This sequel’s Rage ravaged the original in terms of ferocity and nightmare scope.

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
As pure date stamp this relatively tame, but still wildly entertaining new wave is zombie gold. “Send more paramedics …”

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)
A rarely seen, but exceptionally creepy, Spanish invasion of the undead, set in the English countryside.

The Beyond (1981)
Lucio Fulci’s surreal “masterpiece” yarn of the seven doors of hell being opened, unleashing the shuffling, putrid flesh-eaters upon the unsuspecting; a fitting oneiric end.

Here's the original and genuinely unnerving trailer for Day of the Dead, from zombie master George Romero:

Vote

Comments (7)

Add Comments

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: lists

Email this Post to a Friend

The Last House on the Left (2009)

September 28th 2009 07:28

Hey Darkness lovers, I'm back! Now, first things first; I’m not a fan of Wes Craven’s original exploitative cult B-movie The Last House on the Left (1972). I don’t like the production values, I don’t find the atmosphere very convincing, the acting is dodgy at best, and it’s one of those movies that is a genuinely unpleasant viewing experience, like say I Spit on Your Grave (1978) or Maniac (1980); raw, grimy and . One could argue these elements make the movie memorably horrific, but I’ll champion The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) any day over Craven’s over-rated indulgence.

The Hollywood remake, from the same producers who gave us the re-boots of The Hills Have Eyes (2006) and Friday the 13th (2009) is surprisingly well-made. It has excellent production values, a solid atmosphere and good casting and acting. The tone is consistent, the pivotal rape and murder scene is suitably disturbing, and the scenes of violent retribution are well executed. Overall I was impressed, but I don’t think the movie is very memorable. It doesn’t have that cult zing factor, even with charismatic Garrett Dillahunt playing notorious thug Krug. Plus, there are nagging moments of silliness that so many horror movies are prone.

The Last House on the Left (2009) Garrett Dillahunt

Garrett Dillahunt as Krug

The basic premise has young Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton) and her folks, John (Tony Goldwyn) and Emma (Monica Potter) arriving at their holiday retreat, a large lakeside property, the titular last house on the left. Mari is allowed to borrow the family car to drive into the small township several miles away to visit her friend Paige (Martha MacIssac).

The Last House on the Left Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter

Tony Goldwyn as John and Monica Potter as Emma

Krug has escaped police custody with the savage intervention of his girlfriend Sadie (Riki Lindhome), his brother Francis (Aaron Paul), and his son Justin (Spencer Treat Clark). Later Justin meets Paige and Mari in a convenience store and convinces them to drive him back to his motel where they can purchase some high-grade weed. The three get stoned, and Krug, Francis and Sadie return. Things go rapidly down hill for the two innocent teenage girls.

The Last House on the Left (2009) Sara Paxton

Sara Paxton as Mari

Greek director Dennis Illiadis’s first feature, Hardcore (2004), impressed the American producers so much so that he was selected after auditioning over one hundred directors. His visual style is strong, suggesting a background in commercials. Early on I was concerned his approach would be overkill; too stylized with his use of focus and editing, but he maintained an edgy and powerful use of mise-en-scene. The is a much better remake than the hugely ordinary Friday the 13th, but not as good as fellow foreigner Alexandre Aja’s intense The Hills Have Eyes remake.

The Last House on the Left Martha MacIsaac

Martha MacIsaac as Paige

The final scene which has father John delivering the vengeful goods on Krug is unnecessary, and is an odd inclusion, especially since it’s confusing as to when it occurs in the movie’s time-frame. It suggests that John has kept Krug “stashed” and he returns to the property to finish him off, but this is all too absurd considering inevitable police involvement following the Collingwood family’s escape. It almost seems to be simply a gore set-piece to satisfy the audience, and I won’t deny that it isn’t effective (check out the deleted scenes for an additional alternate perspective of the same head explosion), but it’s pretty silly to boot.

The Last House on the Left Aaron Paul, Garrett Dillahunt, Spencer Treat Clark and Riki Lindhome

Aaron Paul as Francis, Krug, Spencer Treat Clark as Justin and Riki Lindhome as Sadie

Whereas Craven’s original kept the killers in the shadow of the unknown, the screenwriters for the remake provide more exposition to provide the killers personas with more depth of character, and in doing so they become less scary. I was actually hoping Dillahunt’s portrayal of sadistic Krug was going to radiate much more palpable evil than what he exuded on screen. If I give Craven’s original version any kudos, it will definitely be David Hess’s performance as Krug, a truly nasty and revolting piece of work.

The Last House on the Left (2009) Monica Potter and Aaron Paul

The wine Emma poured Francis is gonna give him a real headache

Craven’s movie is genuinely more upsetting and reprehensible, I’ll give it that. But Illiadis’s remake is a more “entertaining” horror movie (if I can be so bold and provocative). Still, neither movie comes close to the nightmarish power of I'll Never Die Alone (2008). Rape revenge movies are a difficult sub-genre to recommend, and they’ll never make decent date flicks. The morals are float in a most dubious grey area. The Collingwood parents make some curious decisions.

I find it curious as to what criteria decides whether a movie will get a theatrical or a straight-to-DVD release. Why should this movie end up on surfacing on the DVD shelf down under, yet the remakes of Friday the 13th and The Hills Have Eyes get cinema releases? Why does so much crap get viewed on the big screen, and numerous gems get relegated to the small screen? I’m gonna check out the remake of (The House on) Sorority Row (2009)at the movies (is that because Bruce’s daughter Rumor Willis is one of the leads??), yet I’ll have to rent the Oscar-nominated Austrian revenge drama Revanche (2008) on DVD. Go figure.

Here's the trailer: