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“Monsters do exist; in us and among us. They walk in our shadow. They can prey on us more as we fear them less. We should know. We created them.” --- George A. Romero

Horrorphile - December 2006

Apocalypto and THE END OF THE WORLD

December 29th 2006 00:16
Apocalypto promotional movie poster
Mel Gibson’s personal interpretation of what might have happened to the great Mayan civilization nearly two thousand years ago, Apocalypto, recently opened in America to generally positive reviews, despite many historians and critics slamming the film for its rampant historical and cultural inaccuracies.

Mel Gibson has told media the film is a kind of political allegory about civilizations in decline. From the trailer and reviews it looks and sounds more like it’s one long jungle chase with graphic bloodletting thrown in for good measure. Hey, we all know Mel Gibson is quite fond of a bit of ultra-violence and sadism - all in the name of some kind of spiritual or religious zeal (think Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ).

Jaguar Paw and Flint Sky
The word Apocalypto comes from the Greek and is a cross between “I reveal” (Apocalypta) and “Revelation” (Apocalypse), and bears no relation to the Biblical Apocalypse. It seems Mr. Gibson is keener for a rip-roaring tear through the jungle with natives trying to dodge black panthers and javelins whilst casting beautiful golden light across ancient architecture, rather than actually capturing any kind of historical realism (apart from the dialogue all spoken in one of the ancient Mayan dialects).

Mayan city rulers overlooking a little tearing of the heart
I don’t imagine Apocalypto will ever be referred to as a horror movie, despite its scenes of savage human sacrifice, just as The Passion of the Christ wasn’t, despite the menacing appearances of Satan and the extended and exceedingly bloody scene of flagellation that had the more sensitive folk fainting in the aisles.

Here's the theatrical trailer:

And here's an amusing “review” of Apocalypto done in the style of The Blair Witch Project's famous terrified-to-camera spiel:

And for those with a politically incorrect sense of humour (we are talking about Mel Gibson) check out the SNL re-cut of the Apocalypto trailer which has been posted on youtube.

The title, themes and feel of Apocalypto inspired me to think about what might be the ultimate end of the world movie …? In an earlier post I mentioned my own idea for a Halloween horror movie – All Hallow’s Eve - where all Hell breaks loose, literally.

It takes place in the near future (end of days) over the course of October 31st and into the wee hours of the next morning. We see rich suburban households preparing the kids for trick or treating, wayward adolescents descending upon parties, streetwalkers soliciting business men in expensive cars, adults committing adultery, the toil and trouble, trials and tribulations of modern urban life under stress and duress. The controlled chaos begins to focus during the witching hour on the release of all evil spirits from the scorched earth, to make way for All Saints Day (November 1st). However following this particular Halloween (an abbreviation of Hallowed evening in case you didn’t know), there will be no All Saints Day, because the Devil will reign supreme. Every single living person on earth indulging in sin at the moment of release; whether it is of the flesh or in the mind, becomes possessed by the dark forces of Lucifer and is transformed into a demon. These demons then proceed to terrorise and devour all the remaining pure and innocent humans without mercy and with extreme prejudice. The world is cast into a perpetual darkness where angels fear to tread. Satan scratches his leathery crimson buttocks and laughs long, deep and hard. The witches cackle, the vampires leer, the werewolves howl, and the ghouls grimace in supplication.

That’s my end of the world scenario … What’s yours?

This is my last post for 2006 True Believers, much (sacrificial) hearty cheer to all those who have been supporting my blog since its inception! May the horrorphiles of the world unite! Owwwwww!!!!

Long Live the New Flesh!!!
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See no evil - the horror of CENSORSHIP

December 28th 2006 01:49
Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil
The beast has been around for almost as long as the history of film itself. It’s a simple analysis; you produce art for the masses and someone somewhere will take offence and demand it to be removed from public consumption.

Eventually a council is organized to make decisions on behalf of the good of the people. The end result is art is censored, not all of it, but enough to make a so-called point. That point being that we live in an ultimately conservative world where freedom of expression is reigned in and subversion is frowned upon.

That’s it in a cracked and crazy nutshell.

Sex and violence are the main perpetrators. Other concerns are extreme political activism, adverse social commentary, and religious diatribes. Basically anything considered overtly vulgar, profane, immoral, or simply gratuitous, is ripe for the slaughter. Ripe for censorship, that is.

Horror movies are probably the most censored films of all. There’s a basic reason for this; they present the viewer with images and themes designed to shock, repulse, disturb, terrify, horrify, and mortify. Fair call then, I guess.

But really, I beg to differ. There is a deep-rooted need for horror movies amidst the plethora of mind-numbingly “safe and decent” movies. As the Mexican director Guillermo del Toro once said, “Violence and horror are as much part of the world as butterflies and happy faces …” Fair bloody call.

Still, the powers that be come down extra hard on the genre of horror. This is also partially due to horror’s contentious - and frequently deliberate - blurring of the primal themes of sex and death.

Mad Max promotional artwork
In the 60s and even into the 70s movie poster artwork in New Zealand was optically censored to ensure no one was wrongly influenced by the use of imagery. Any poster image depicting a person (most often a man) brandishing a knife had the offending weapon blacked out. A sword was okay, but a knife, no way.

The Australian cult classic road revenge flick Mad Max (1979) was banned in New Zealand for several years for fears (by the authority of the chief censor) that the movie would incite gang violence.

The uber-extreme Cannibal Holocaust (1980) is a particularly volatile example, being banned, lifted, re-banned, re-submitted, banned again, in several countries, while another Italian gore-fest Cannibal Ferox (1981, aka Make Them Die Slowly) held the dubious “honour” of being banned in 31 countries (and notoriously used the claim as a selling point tagline).
Cannibal Ferox
Italian director Pasolini’s Salo, One Hundred Days of Sodom (1975) holds the dubious distinction of being possibly the most consistently banned film in the world, and yes, I would call it a “horror” film most definitely; the deeply entrenched horror of fascism.

Then there’s the United Kingdom’s infamous “video nasty” list. A blacklist of dozens of “horror” titles which were pulled from shelves in 1984 for reasons of utter contempt from the governing censorship authorities.

This brings me to the slasher - stalk’n’slash, slice’n’dice – genre. Probably the most butchered horror sub-genre ever. George Romero took a brave stand when he released his zombie sequel Dawn of the Dead (1978) unrated (it is optional to have your film rated by the Motion Picture Association of America). Cinemas are very reluctant to book a film that is unrated for fear it is a sneaky hardcore porn movie.

He did it again with Day of the Dead (1985), after many waves of slasher flicks had hit the big screen with varying success, many of them shorn of many seconds footage, some several minutes. Unfortunately for Romero’s pocket the film bombed at the box office. It had received poor distribution and publicity.

watch for Kevin Bacon's demise!
Romero’s zombie films aren’t strictly slasher flicks, but I’ve mentioned them as a reference point to how fickle and clumsy the censoring body of the MPAA is. John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) was cleverly directed with no real blood shed on screen, so it was never a problem with the MPAA. Sean Cunningham’s Friday the 13th (1980), the first high profile movie that carried the sub-genre tag of stalk’n’slash slipped through the MPAA with an R rating which when watched in comparison with latter flicks of similar intent is surprisingly graphic.

The same with Carpenter’s The Thing (1982), although by this point Carpenter knew the MPAA could potentially ruin his intentionally graphic alien-horror so he instructed his young SFX maestro Rob Bottin to use less red (read: realistic) blood and go for more abstract gore effects (which subsequently confused the MPAA who released the film uncut).

Other films of a decent calibre weren’t so lucky.
watch those bloody scissors!
The Canadian flick My Bloody Valentine (1981) is a infamous example. As illustrated in the pages of Fangoria magazine around the time of release, the movie suffered terribly at the hands of the MPAA. Paramount Pictures who owns the rights to the movie forced the director to cut most of the elaborate gore effects from the film. The same happened to Friday the 13th – Part 2 (1981) and to numerous other slasher movies during the 80s.

The 90s turned out to be a ludicrously tame decade for mainstream horror. I won’t even go there.

For years and years horror fans have cried out for a rating system that allows horror films to be theatrically released uncut; a “horror” equivalent of the X rating (now known in America as NC-17), which is reserved for sexually explicit movies. But nothing has developed. The NC-17 rating is rarely used, and almost never for a horror movie.

Seems old conservative habits die hard.


* the images on this page were taken from the following wikipedia pages:
See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Mad Max, Cannibal Ferox, Friday the 13th and scissors
They are licensed under the GNU Free Document License
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Nightmares so pleasurable - Horrorphile's FLICK PICKS OF THE YEAR

December 26th 2006 03:39
This was another year of horror chic - mainstream horror, that is – where classics were revisited, remade or re-envisioned. There was a small clutch of original scare tactics, but precious little of the true masterstrokes. In a few years these movies may move up into the upper echelons of true cult classic.

Forget the retreads of The Fog, The Omen, or When a Stranger Calls. Forget the unconvincing, pretentious trash of Hostel and Saw 3, trying to be oh-so-raw-and-clever (damn, I loathe that crap!). Forget the let’s-go-back-to-the-beginning-to-see-how-it-all-began ill-conception of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, or the more-of-the-bloody-same-but-not-nearly-as-good Final Destination 3 and The Grudge 2, and forget the over-the-top, video-game-raided, tedious-as-all-hell Silent Hill.

And don’t even bother going there with Snakes on a Plane. Puh-leeease!

So what are my picks? They are movies released in Australia over the past year, a couple of which were produced up to two years earlier. So what hacked off my funny bone and fed it to the hounds of hell? What slapped my horror sensibilities about and left me with stunning black and blue bruising? As my blog implies, I enjoy the high art as much as the deep trash, but each to their own at the end of the darkened day I say.

Dead Man's Shoes
1. Dead Man’s Shoes
Directed by Shane Meadows
Not your average horror movie, but a horror movie nevertheless. It was a slow burning tale of vengeance in a small English town. Stunning performances from a solid, if mostly unknown cast, with Paddy Considine’s central dark icicle of hatred a revelation in controlled rage. A superb soundtrack of rustic modern folk and blues and subtle, yet striking imagery added to make this the most affecting and disturbing film of the year.

The Descent
2. The Descent
Directed by Neil Marshall
From the director of the well-above-average werewolf flick Dog Soldiers comes this taut and terrifying delve into subterranean nastiness; all bitching ambitious young women and ferocious pale-skinned cannibalistic humanoids. Eeek! Another strong cast, brilliant set design (an elaborate cave system) and some gut-churning gore and violence pushed The Descent over the edge and down into top notch horror fare.

The Hills Have Eyes
3. The Hills Have Eyes
Directed by Alexandre Aja
The only genuinely worn ground in my selection, and a rarity indeed: a remake much better than the original. Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead re-envision is the only other example that comes close (a statement that’ll ruffle a few old school horrorphile feathers). Pushing the envelope on mainstream violence within a Hollywood film young French upstart Aja delivered a sensationally vicious slap in the face with the atomic test mutant family terrorizing a suburban family trapped in the desert.

Hard Candy
4. Hard Candy
Directed by David Slade
A post-modern take on the battle of the sexes within the mold of a psychological thriller which has is streaked with a troubling tone of horror. For the male viewers this film touches areas most sensitive indeed! Hard Candy’s two-handed cork-screw narrative, based on a play, dealing boldly with the highly-charged subject matter of chat room dating, sexual manipulation and most wicked deception was a revelation. A house-bound nightmare, which veered dangerously close to absurdity, yet still managed a most calculated chill.

Slither
5. Slither
Directed by James Gunn
This is my year’s guilty pleasure, an unabashed “B-grade” indulgence of unbridled sf-horror-comedy. With more movie references than you can throw a severed arm at, Slither grins and sneers along at a great pace with disgusting special effects and much modern zombie action. The screenwriter of the Dawn of the Dead remake was at the helm of this tribute to all things purely schlock! It’s an exception, as it didn’t receive a theatrical release down under, but it vomits green viscous bile all over those truly awful straight-to-video releases which hit the shelves with such consistency these days.


* the images on this page were taken from the following wikipedia pages:
Dead Man's Shoes, The Descent, The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Hard Candy and Slither
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Horror QUIZ #4: Demons

December 22nd 2006 02:08
surrounded by demons
In the cold damp of the night they rise up through the earth, through the inferno of sin and vice, through the decay of virtue and the ruin of innocence, to plague us with their ghastly presence and mortify us with their hideous diabolical schemes and demonic machinations.

And then they tear us to shreds and grind our bones to dust


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My favourite horror DIRECTORS

December 21st 2006 05:23
This is a little difficult, since I probably have more favourite individual movies than several movies by single directors. There are, however, horror auteurs whose body of work nearly always captures the essence of horror, the elements of which entices the Darkness, feeds our hunger for terror, haunts our dreams and plagues our nightmares.

Here are five of my favourite horror directors who have made two or more movies which I feel are seminal to the horror movie oeuvre


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Happy Birthday To Me

December 19th 2006 22:57
Happy Birthday To Me movie poster
It’s my birthday today, I’m gonna keep the post pretty sweet and deadly ‘cos “It’s mah birthday! It’s mah birthday, I’m gonna party like it’s mah birthday!”

During the 80s slasher heyday there were all manner of stalk’n’slash flicks hitting the big screen, many of them were real hack jobs (pun intended), while others rose to the occasion. One of the above average slasher films was Happy Birthday To Me (1981


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The pretentious pseudo-SNUFF flick

December 18th 2006 23:50
There’s bad, and then there’s really bad, and then there’s truly awful. Some bad are enjoyably trashy, some really bad are just entirely forgettable, and the truly awful are those hideous pieces of pseudo-intellectual junk that try to slant an angle of post-modernism, sly irony or stylized super-realism in an effort to jolt a potentially jaded and cynical audience.
the cut of snuff
The snuff film concept has been around for many decades; in fact it has probably existed since the invention of the motion camera, just as pornography has. Sex and death are the two obvious extremes whose boundaries were pushed as soon as they could be.

Whereas sex involves obvious pleasure to both filmmaker and performer (most of the time), death’s benefits are all too shadowy and perverse


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Vampyres - Daughters of Dracula

December 18th 2006 00:11
Vampyres movie poster
Oh, the Daughters of Dracula, children of the night, what sweet music they make. Music so sickly sweet it makes me gag … laugh, that is, then gag, then laugh again.

In the vein of Hammer Horror, but not nearly as “sophisticated” (muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!), this penetration into the most exploitative of the vampire premises; lesbos ladies who lunch at night, is a hysterical descent into pure, unbridled trash. You don’t get them more enjoyably worse than this


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GRIND HOUSE teaser bait

December 15th 2006 04:15
Grind House movie teaser poster
With baited breath and much antici ………… pation! I await this double-whammy from Hollywood’s rogue cinephiles; Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. Grind House doesn’t get released in the US until April 2007, and there is no Australasian dates announced at this stage. Still, there is a wild and wicked teaser trailer to wrap your tequila goggles around.


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Horror QUIZ #3: Zombies

December 13th 2006 20:12
zombie!
Zommm-bayyyyyy!!!! Oh, how we horrorphiles love ‘em! That nefarious, bloody thrill of watching glistening human entrails being freshly torn from a poor victim’s warm body and shoved greedily into the craving mouths of the living dead!

Mmmm, so what’s for lunch


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PAN'S LABYRINTH - advance screenings Sydney & Melbourne

December 13th 2006 01:14
Doug Jones as Pan (Fauno)
Pan’s Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) is a dark, twisted tale from the intense imagination of Guillermo del Toro, the director of Hellboy, Blade II, Mimic, The Devil’s Backbone and Cronos, and is Mexico's entry for Best Foreign Film at the 2007 Academy Awards.

It’s a Gothic hybrid (like all his films), fusing elements of Alice in Wonderland with the Grimm Brothers. Set against the violent back-drop of Spain under Franco’s rule, young Ofelia is sent to an isolated mansion with her heavily-pregnant mother. Lonely and intimidated by her new stepfather, Ofelia discovers an overgrown labyrinth where she meets Pan, an ancient satyr


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PERFUME smells of compromise

December 12th 2006 05:20
Perfume movie poster
I saw an advance (Australasian) screening of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer last night. It’s left a pungent odour in my nose that has traveled up into my brain and is sitting like a wet towel in my mind.

This is what I would call an exceptional horrorphile movie review. It’s not really a horror film, although it could have been a sensational new breed; a sensual horror movie. This post is primarily about my observations and reservations over the movie adaptation of one of the best novels of the past thirty years


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Horror QUIZ #2: Werewolves

December 11th 2006 03:47
German woodcut of a werewolf
My palms are itching. My mouth feels like sandpaper. I’ve got this unpleasant bristling sensation up and down my spine. I have a deep desire to start baying at the full moon.

I just know it’s got something to do with the wolfsbane John Doe spiked my drink with at the Orble Xmas party drinkies on the weekend


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What popped your HORROR CHERRY?

December 8th 2006 03:01
Excuse me if I’m getting a little personal, but it has to be done. We’ve all seen young blood before, so don’t be shy … Go on, spill your guts.
Halloween II movie opening title credit
I’ve been into horror since puberty, all through adolescence, into young adulthood, and well beyond. As a kid however it is less clear as to when my taste for blood was actually spilt and the hairs on my spine began to bristle with enthusiasm.

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Horror QUIZ #1: Vampires

December 6th 2006 23:09
Sink your teeth into these little bloodteasers … Test your undead knowledge.

1. Which traditional weapon or deterrent does not work on the undead?
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Man Bites Dog

December 5th 2006 22:32
Man Bites Dog ... with gun
Man Bites Dog is a savagely pitch-black comedy, a blistering, scathing satire on filmmaking and killing. The snuff movie for when you don’t want to watch a real snuff movie. “A Killer Comedy” as the tagline states.

Sounds horribly cynical I know. But remember where you are; a dark alley called Urban Rage, in the shadows of a suburb called Black Comedy, in a noirish city I affectionately refer to as my Pleasure of Nightmares


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GHOST HOUSE PICTURES

December 5th 2006 05:21
I was looking up the name of the film my father is playing a bit part in (he gets his throat torn out by a marauding vampire!). All I knew was it was being produced by Sam Raimi. Nice work dad. No seriously, nice work. It’s an undead flick set in Alaska. Part of the movie is being shot in California and part of it is being shot in Auckland, New Zealand. It’s called 30 Days of Night, a great title. I hope the movie is as good as the title and premise.

30 Days of Night graphic novel
Each year an isolated Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month when the sun sinks below the horizon. However 2007 will be the year the township wished the sun could’ve stayed put. As the last rays of light fade, the town is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires bent on an uninterrupted orgy of destruction. It’s up to the town’s sheriff and his wife to save the day … er, night


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Shaun of the Dead

December 3rd 2006 22:51
Shaun of the Dead movie poster
Generally I prefer my horror served up dark and serious. There are exceptions, such as Braindead (1992), which for obvious reasons (see previous post) earns a special place in my little horror heart. Horror comedies work a fine balancing act of creating just enough tension between the laughs, a little gore with the grinning, the delicate fine art of violence vs. laughter.

Shaun of the Dead (2004) is up there in the league of great horror comedies, or to be more precise: “A romantic comedy. With zombies.” (probably one of the funnier tag-lines to date too


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