NOVELS I'd like to see as MOVIES
August 31st 2006 02:12
… or Books Already Filmed That Could Be Much Better.
Everyone has their favourite movie adaptation of a novel. And everyone has a short list of novels that haven’t been made into films which they’d love to see put into production.
Here are six novels (and one short story) which I hope someday get made/remade into kick-ass horror flicks (and the directors who should do them). I’ve included a couple of novels which have already been made into movies (several times), and one which was made as a mini-series.
1. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
This blew my mind when I read it a couple of years ago. It is the ultimate haunted house story. An existential time and space non-linear nightmare about a family who discover their house is a portal into Darkness. On one hand this is an un-filmable novel, as much of its supernatural power lies in the structure of its printed words (if you’ve read the novel you’ll know exactly what I mean). But if it somehow could get made with all of its artistic license and boundary pushing intact, it would be an extraordinary experience. The only person I can think of you might be able to tackle the job would be David Lynch.
2. Once … by James Herbert
I read some of this British author’s earlier works when I was an adolescent, such as The Rats and The Dark. Then a year or so ago I came across this very adult-phantasmagorical tale of faeries and demons, and it described some of the most vivid and spellbinding images I had read in years. It successfully bridged and merged the worlds of fantasy and horror with a fresh perspective. Not only was it very erotic (more raunchy and primal than Ann Rice), but it balanced sex with death very compellingly. And boy, there were some exceptionally nightmarish sequences crying out to be filmed! The director for this would need to be Dario Argento.
3. Survivor Type by Stephen King
In his compendium of short stories called Skeleton Crew there is a deliciously macabre and outrageous tale of a surgeon marooned on an island armed only with a big stash of morphine. After breaking his ankle trying to catch a seagull to eat he is forced to … well … eat himself. Narrated in diary form, the surgeon uses his skills (and large doses of the painkiller) to slowly and steadily devour his extremities, until he eventually starts to slide into delirium. I’m not sure it would make for particularly palatable entertainment for the masses, but in the right hands, someone like the late Joe D’Amato, unafraid of implausibility, someone who would embrace the gory perversion.
4. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Don’t get me wrong, the James Whale version from 1931 is a great flick, but it is Olde World Hollywood. Disregard the Hammer Film productions, as cheesy fun as they are. And please forget the Kenneth Branagh monstrosity. There are numerous other variations, but the person who apparently was going to produce his own re-envisioning years ago was David Cronenberg. Without a doubt, this classic tale of body-horror and loss of control is right up Cronenberg’s alley. It didn’t eventuate and I think now the moment may have passed for him, yet I still wait in hope.
5. Dracula by Bram Stoker
This is another novel with countless film adaptations, none of them very good. Even Coppola’s so-called faithful version wasn’t really the novel. It was closer than most, but it lacked any genuine terror or suspense, and it sported some terrible casting choices (Keanu Reeves?? Winona Ryder?? Cary Elwes??) The novel has a spare poetry with many striking, haunting, even terrifying images and sequences (Harker watching in horrific disbelief as the Count flaps his way down the side of the castle wall in the dead of night still gives me the chills). F. W. Murnau’s loose adaptation, Nosferatu (1922), managed to capture some of the ghostly surrealism, but no one has done the novel ultimate justice. I’m thinking Jane Campion, to add a sensual, feminine, yet Gothic touch to this tale of the zip-less fuck.
6. The Stand by Stephen King
I loved all of King’s early novels, and a few of them have actually been filmed rather well such as Carrie (1976), Salem’s Lot (1979) and The Dead Zone (1983). However it was this epic tale of the apocalypse which lingered long in my mind. I waited patiently for it to reach the big screen. And it was meant to for many years by none other than maestro zombie guy, George A. Romero, except it never came to fruition. For years King and Romero struggled with the very weighty manuscript. It eventually got made as a lame TV mini-series. Perhaps if Land of the Dead (2005) had faired better, Romero might have had the balls to re-tackle The Stand. In this age of terrorism and bird-flu, it would make for powerful horror cinema!
7. The Vampire Lestat by Ann Rice
I read the first two novels in Rice’s ongoing Vampire Chronicles several years before the first novel Interview with the Vampire (1994) was made. At the time (circa mid-80s) Rice made a statement as to whom she’d like to see cast in the central roles; Eric Roberts (Julia’s chisel-featured older brother) as Louis and Rutger Hauer (fresh from Blade Runner, 1982) as Lestat. Now that would have been sensational, but it never happened. Instead we eventually got a watered-down adaptation with two anaemic and limp performances from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Not only that, but the screenwriters included many elements from the second novel The Vampire Lestat, but lost the plot and emphasis along the way. Lestat is probably the best novel of the whole series and could, with the right production values, savvy understanding of vampire mythology, and spot-on casting be the ultimate vampire movie (boy do we need one! The Blade films are just too cartoony). Some of the tales within the novel of Lestat are nothing less than astonishing storytelling. Martin Scorsese should direct.
Everyone has their favourite movie adaptation of a novel. And everyone has a short list of novels that haven’t been made into films which they’d love to see put into production.
Here are six novels (and one short story) which I hope someday get made/remade into kick-ass horror flicks (and the directors who should do them). I’ve included a couple of novels which have already been made into movies (several times), and one which was made as a mini-series.
1. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
This blew my mind when I read it a couple of years ago. It is the ultimate haunted house story. An existential time and space non-linear nightmare about a family who discover their house is a portal into Darkness. On one hand this is an un-filmable novel, as much of its supernatural power lies in the structure of its printed words (if you’ve read the novel you’ll know exactly what I mean). But if it somehow could get made with all of its artistic license and boundary pushing intact, it would be an extraordinary experience. The only person I can think of you might be able to tackle the job would be David Lynch.
2. Once … by James Herbert
I read some of this British author’s earlier works when I was an adolescent, such as The Rats and The Dark. Then a year or so ago I came across this very adult-phantasmagorical tale of faeries and demons, and it described some of the most vivid and spellbinding images I had read in years. It successfully bridged and merged the worlds of fantasy and horror with a fresh perspective. Not only was it very erotic (more raunchy and primal than Ann Rice), but it balanced sex with death very compellingly. And boy, there were some exceptionally nightmarish sequences crying out to be filmed! The director for this would need to be Dario Argento.
3. Survivor Type by Stephen King
In his compendium of short stories called Skeleton Crew there is a deliciously macabre and outrageous tale of a surgeon marooned on an island armed only with a big stash of morphine. After breaking his ankle trying to catch a seagull to eat he is forced to … well … eat himself. Narrated in diary form, the surgeon uses his skills (and large doses of the painkiller) to slowly and steadily devour his extremities, until he eventually starts to slide into delirium. I’m not sure it would make for particularly palatable entertainment for the masses, but in the right hands, someone like the late Joe D’Amato, unafraid of implausibility, someone who would embrace the gory perversion.
4. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Don’t get me wrong, the James Whale version from 1931 is a great flick, but it is Olde World Hollywood. Disregard the Hammer Film productions, as cheesy fun as they are. And please forget the Kenneth Branagh monstrosity. There are numerous other variations, but the person who apparently was going to produce his own re-envisioning years ago was David Cronenberg. Without a doubt, this classic tale of body-horror and loss of control is right up Cronenberg’s alley. It didn’t eventuate and I think now the moment may have passed for him, yet I still wait in hope.
5. Dracula by Bram Stoker
This is another novel with countless film adaptations, none of them very good. Even Coppola’s so-called faithful version wasn’t really the novel. It was closer than most, but it lacked any genuine terror or suspense, and it sported some terrible casting choices (Keanu Reeves?? Winona Ryder?? Cary Elwes??) The novel has a spare poetry with many striking, haunting, even terrifying images and sequences (Harker watching in horrific disbelief as the Count flaps his way down the side of the castle wall in the dead of night still gives me the chills). F. W. Murnau’s loose adaptation, Nosferatu (1922), managed to capture some of the ghostly surrealism, but no one has done the novel ultimate justice. I’m thinking Jane Campion, to add a sensual, feminine, yet Gothic touch to this tale of the zip-less fuck.
6. The Stand by Stephen King
I loved all of King’s early novels, and a few of them have actually been filmed rather well such as Carrie (1976), Salem’s Lot (1979) and The Dead Zone (1983). However it was this epic tale of the apocalypse which lingered long in my mind. I waited patiently for it to reach the big screen. And it was meant to for many years by none other than maestro zombie guy, George A. Romero, except it never came to fruition. For years King and Romero struggled with the very weighty manuscript. It eventually got made as a lame TV mini-series. Perhaps if Land of the Dead (2005) had faired better, Romero might have had the balls to re-tackle The Stand. In this age of terrorism and bird-flu, it would make for powerful horror cinema!
7. The Vampire Lestat by Ann Rice
I read the first two novels in Rice’s ongoing Vampire Chronicles several years before the first novel Interview with the Vampire (1994) was made. At the time (circa mid-80s) Rice made a statement as to whom she’d like to see cast in the central roles; Eric Roberts (Julia’s chisel-featured older brother) as Louis and Rutger Hauer (fresh from Blade Runner, 1982) as Lestat. Now that would have been sensational, but it never happened. Instead we eventually got a watered-down adaptation with two anaemic and limp performances from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Not only that, but the screenwriters included many elements from the second novel The Vampire Lestat, but lost the plot and emphasis along the way. Lestat is probably the best novel of the whole series and could, with the right production values, savvy understanding of vampire mythology, and spot-on casting be the ultimate vampire movie (boy do we need one! The Blade films are just too cartoony). Some of the tales within the novel of Lestat are nothing less than astonishing storytelling. Martin Scorsese should direct.
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